Once upon a time, there was a curve. There was a sign on this curve that set the speed limit for the curve at 30mph. I always found this a bit silly -- the curve, while fairly formidible looking, could easily be handled at 60mph by the wary driver, a simple task that I had performed in a much heavier, much less maneuverable full-size pickup.

However, on this day, I was not the wary driver. On this particular day, I was damn tired, and I was looking at the plastic bag of lunch on my seat which I was convinced was about to fly off and make a horrible mess in my car. Call it a self-fulfilling prophecy. While I was preoccupied with the task of protecting my $5 lunch, I neglected to turn the car, which promptly launched into a 5 foot ditch at about 45mph.

I looked up when I hit gravel -- and I attempted to ward off the vicious ditch bearing down upon me with a fearsome exclamation of "SHIT!" The ditch was, however, unimpressed, and claimed my car. At first, I thought this was a dream. I remember thinking this as my car approached the massive half-tree half-bush Frankenplant monster that ruled the ditch.

With the power of Reconstruct-o-vision, I can show you my approximate train of thought as I regained my senses.

Hey, what's that smoke in front of me? Am I on fire? No...no, it's just the airbag deflating. Gosh, something seems weird..Maybe it's just the fact that I just wrecked my car. Gee, I wonder how much it'll cost to repair this. Hopefully I just scratched the paint a bit..the windshield is certainly smashed to hell, too..and I see that I've crashed into the huge towering bush. Wow, I must have broken some branches to go into it this far. It's touching my windshield. If the repair bill is less than six months of my salary, maybe Dad won't kill me. Something really seems not-right about this... I..hey.. why is that deflated airbag resting against the roof? Waitaminute. I'm upside-down.

I'm doomed.

This explains why I'm feeling dizzy and disoriented. I must have hit my head. I can still move, good..I'm not paralyzed...I'm also not bleeding, nor am I in any noticible pain...What's that on my pants? Oh. Rice. It's everywhere. Okay. Time to get out of the car. It looks like the door is probably jammed..I'll just roll down the window and crawl.. oh...trying to move it caused it to shatter. Hmm...the distance between the roof and the base of the door has been reduced to about 3 inches from the roll, too... Alright...Shit.


Hey...did I try the door? Maybe I should try the door. Hey! It opens! That was easy. Okay. Time to dust myself off and Forrest Gump my way home and tell the folks that I just had my first full-fledged car crash..

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