user since
Fri Jan 5 2001 at 03:44:54 (23.4 years ago )
last seen
Fri Feb 23 2024 at 00:43:41 (3.8 months ago )
number of write-ups
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number of write-ups within last year
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C!s spent
mission drive within everything
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Go here...Demeter's Extraverse
You will find some of my photographic work represented on Extraverse as well. In case you're curious...
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feel the underbelly scraping the pavement. It stings
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Baked potato I can't COOKIE it again so go learn how to bake a potato from Ouroboros DO IT!!!! I demand this of you.

I'm not sure what he's looking for but I don't think it's me

an old message:
"So tell me you are doing better and there's stars where you are..."

an answer:
I am and there are

translation: I am tossing myself back out into the field
it is more than time

Please do not allow me to believe
that I am somehow not worthy of
a relationship because I have
loved and lost, that I
somehow carry the taint
of baggage.
I gave that luggage to good will
several years ago.
K thanks

Just returned from a week long camping trip. In the woods. By a lake that was so clear I could see my toes when I was in up to my neck. UNPLUGGED. Technology free zone. It was awesome. I am recharged.

do not underestimate the power of unplugging

So, in other news, my daughter is moving three time zones away. To Denver. This makes me sad. True story.

We can only hold our breath with you and just ache.

(that is all and it is no where near enough)


it is awesome

delightful. yes. laughter. often.

and This still makes me cry.

I drove 3 hours out of my way for
an introduction, he to her, her to he
a meal, shared and dragged out not long enough
mild reproof for non jacket
warm hand clasp
and kissed near senseless

a reminder

Yes. I just did a road trip. not near enough time. down down down from the north into the south through Virginia (which is beautiful at dawn in the mountains) Across Tennessee through Nashville and Memphis to north of Little Rock where I paused for a several day spell, then back across Arkansas and up through Missouri (passed the place we first met) and a brief brief memorable pause in Illinois then across Indiana into Ohio heading North and East and through the wilds of Pennsylvania and then a turn up and across the bottom of New York State (north of that city I avoid driving in and around) and over the river and back into Connecticut.

Yes. there were several people I would have liked to stop in on during that loop, but time is so short and moves so fast and runs out too soon.

These things matter to her

(you can not deny it)

he says "hello joy of my morning"
(reason # 63 of why I like this one)

he says "we should be napping and I would laugh at your stubbornness --since I already do"

in answer to my inquiry...

he says bagels- coffee- soft piano music- newspaper- barefeet-
touching on couch or porch- and discussion of day-
movie? walk? shop? nap? what to do? - read me the choices-
I will close my eyes and wince at the choices I think are bad--
go ahead..

I LOVE the idea of this
go ahead, you know you want to...

pieces you should read (says me!)

The note I didn't give to the woman in the bookstore
Conrad wants to know what I have been dreaming. This might get complicated.
Secret wish: To be identical to the ocean
Choose your words carefully; now throw them away
***Add Me On***
Why the willow weeps
I remember when it was me who made her skin flush
***work within the limitations of the medium***
This ocean is angry but I might live through it
I would like to sit in a coffee shop with a notebook, two pens, a carton of cigarettes, and you
I am three, she said
***ransom note love letter***
The agony of birds
The Cassandralike experience of aging
The Slow Death of the Japanese Meal
Teach your million tiny babies to parasail
You love these machines. These machines are dead: a love story.
For a boat of white bone, and we three
She doesn't know what he sees, but sometimes it makes his face beautiful
The flowers smiled, but she was gone
Pale sickly white girl, why you no love me?
Why there is no moloch13
Standing on a mountaintop in northern Siberia under the rapidly descending bulk of asteroid McAlmont, with a calculating expression and a baseball bat
Prayer to St. Isidore for Forgiveness of Malicious Softlinkers
magic as it comes

Sting, Rob Thomas, Paul Simon
give me anything by these guys
I will listen

Time is always an issue
There is never enough
There is always too much

of all the words I've written, this collection pulls me the most.


This song has always brought tears to my eyes. Always. And also, the feeling is intensified when I hear it as an instrumental (as opposed to voice)...and more intense still when I hear it played on a violin...more intense still if I close my eyes.
So yes. I find this song that beautiful.

One of the things I miss most is going to plays and musicals. This is one of the detriments of being a single parent. Food/shelter/heat/clothing take precedence over such luxuries. But it is OK. I can still listen to the music. I can still be moved.

There is still not forgiveness but sometimes, there is almost peace.

the sign on the front proclaimed
Guns, Ammo, Beer, & Wedding Gowns
this is where he found his angel

the quickest way to kill a poem
is to discuss it
dissect it
decipher it
demystify it
disentangle it
or defend it

let it be as it is
an experience peculiar to the reader

I am a poet.

I could drown in your eyes
the weight of feeling (sighmoan collaboration)
spare the rod and spoil the child
The disinterest of daylight
caught between yes and maybe
*He weaves his words
*Wispy beams of early light
*serene. She sips her tea
One way window
*and yet she lingers
*Ask her if she's got an answer
stealing parts of my heart with your glances
Against my will it is seeping into me, this information
When in doubt, choose wings not shoes
Circle of light
Come fly with me
Misty Morning
breathe deeply, stretch
Send me downstream
and in time all this will pass
weeping quietly and without tears
In answer to your inquiry
A Sunny Place For Shady People: Summer Solstice, Santa Barbara Style, A Very Brady E2 Get-Together!
the things he left behind
Your words are delicious and enticing, and I would save them all like love letters
wrapped up tight in my distress. My words are muffled
It's lonely being Only
I hide in the darkness of the cry that comes from her throat
feeling your absence
scar tissue
I saved his life. He does not know it.
such is the way for a survivor of broken promises
kiss the wounds clean with lies
the way we circle into range
an empty vessel makes much noise
A Housewife's Lament
Let me tell you what a splash of cold water feels like
and when you woke up, your goldfish bowl was empty?
I like the (idea) love it's
We Defer
August 23, 2007 (poetry)
August 26, 2007 (poetry)
Things you can tell just by looking at her
I thought I might find you here
We have a fictitious world; that is the first step:
laundry list
to kill a poem

I am a prose writer.

Roses in glass tubes at gas stations
the healing power of touch
*fragments of a world and the spaces in between
the kind of woman who eats ice cream in February
Tiny snow noises and her footsteps
Silence is as full of words as all your books
Stand in the doorway and watch her
The anti-insomnia powers of a four door with a large back seat
nine elevenths
*Your smile was embarrassed. Your fingers were dew-covered. I am still smiling.
soul dancing in the dark
Compasses surrounded by iron filings
and the clock waits so patiently on your song
the point at which your carefully woven story falls to pieces
some people break so easily
wearing his fabrics
the Price they Pay
*She is in the heartbeat all around you, listen
echoes of yesterday
anyone could know just by watching her silent moves
*I like this. It's pretty
You don't know fear
Splinters from a scrabble board
listening to the silence of the day
here's hoping the sun won't rise for a while
You can only make me dizzy if you're spinning me in leaves or snowflakes
riding in cars with boys
*This silence, it hurts me, just so you know
*You are precious to me. Did you know that?
She really does want to clap along, but at the same time she doesn't want to let the bird get out
*It's just a folded piece of paper until you let it fly
*in case I have forgotten
**fine paintbrush, light strokes, special paint
Can you see the tension piling on me in waves? Look into my eyes.
Fate is the Hunter
*Sometimes the apathy she saw made her want to curl up and cry
I still find strands of her hair in bed
*transient liquid beauty
together, yet apart
*aware of his own mortality
Message received
looking for my glow
*light rain at early dawn
*a bellyful of wistfulness
hands up, the whole way
look not into the light
inverse chick magnet
Louisiana, with a touch of elsewhere
mistaking discarded clothes for shed skin
the colors flow through her like a rainbow
*if only I could get into her head
just a babysitter
*forever and an instant
*dangling by a string
wherein the tourguide gets "lucky" and a wallflower blooms
these things matter to her
**very sweet and not at all smooth
sitting on a boy's lap
heart song
Can I watch you read?
It looks very beautiful
The movie in her mind
Speaking with eyes
Value of a Quarter

The ex and I are amicable six years out. Persistence pays off. The kids are happier. This is important. For my part, I will not rehash this time period with him. He wanted to talk about it once after a break up with his second girlfriend and I said no, it is done and gone. I did not want to bring up old hurts. We are in a new place. I can reread these from time to time, the sharpness has faded.

Thoughts on ending relationships and divorce

ask her if she's got an answer
the disinterest of daylight
Splinters from a scrabble board
one way window
nine elevenths
You say you want to help me
the things he left behind
Compasses surrounded by iron filings
surrounded by strangers with public fingerprints
ring finger
persistence of attachment
wrapped up tight in my distress. My words are muffled
It's lonely being Only
We just disagree
just enough to catch a whiff of dying roses
April 23, 2003
June 13, 2003
scar tissue
October 17, 2003
It was a dangerous, stupid infraction and I deserve the ticket
April 19, 2004
in bed feigning slleep
i hide in the darkness of the cry that comes from her throat
feeling your absence
June 30, 2004
December 13, 2004
When the dragon is slain
an empty vessel makes much noise
the weather is moving the wrong way today.
August 13, 2005
December 25, 2005

these are just bookmarks to remind me of things. things I like. things I want to write. things that I would probably forget without a list of don't forget me bookmarks

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