(Lights go partially down on the BAR, come up on the mainstage, which is set for KOPI. ROSE is sitting at a table stage right. The film crew is set up over at the lounge area. RILEY is pacing, CAMERON is spinning a pen, CASEY is writing furiously, and DAKOTA is checking his phone. Throughout the following scene, ROSE keeps becoming more and more depressed. DAKOTA receives a text from PAT and goes to leave.)
RILEY: (Accusatory.)
Where are you going?
DAKOTA:
Emergency. I have to head out.
RILEY:
No you don't. We only have half a week to put this movie together, and you haven't been any help. Sit down.
(DAKOTA sits, RILEY goes back to pacing.)
CASEY:
Psst. Dakota.
DAKOTA:
Yeah?
CASEY:
Why did you need to leave?
DAKOTA:
I got a text. Jessie isn't holding up too well. I need to go try to help her out.
CASEY:
Go do it. I'll cover for you with Riley.
DAKOTA:
Really?
CASEY:
It's what friends are for, right?
(DAKOTA possibly hugs CASEY, then exits stage left. RILEY is pacing away from him.)
RILEY:
So let's go over what we have to work with. We can borrow cameras and a computer to edit on from my roommate - so long as we agree to not let Cam touch them -
CAMERON:
I said I was sorry!
RILEY:
But that leaves us having to - (Turns around.) Where did Dakota go?
CASEY:
He had to go.
RILEY:
He couldn't go. I told him he couldn't.
CASEY:
I told him not to listen to you.
RILEY:
You did what?
CASEY:
He had a good reason, and we aren't exactly getting much done today. I told him to go.
RILEY:
And why did you think you were able to decide?
CASEY:
I-
RILEY:
Why did you think, when we have only four days to complete this entire movie which we are yet to even come up with a storyboard for, much less write or shoot for, and we are already missing one person who is at this point almost forty minutes late, we could afford to sacrifice another group member?
CASEY:
I thought -
RILEY:
Did you? Who let you think? So you're the brains of this group now, is that it? Tell me, Casey, what do you think. Should we just give up? Should I just call Charlie and tell her not to show up at all? Is that what you think we should do?
CASEY: (Defeated)
I... No.
RILEY:
Good. (Beat.) And it had to be Dakota who left, too. He’s smart, at least. If it was you who left, we might actually have gotten more done tonight. (Pause. Suddenly angry.)
And where the hell is Charlie?
CHARLIE: (Shouting from offstage right.)
Fanfare, please! (Trumpets blare to announce Charlie’s entrance, as the entire cafe looks on, stunned. In a newscaster voice.)
Announcing the arrival of the talented, brilliant, all-around-amazing Charlie Charella! Being better than you since 1993. (Pause. The lights on the bar become a bit stronger.)
BARISTA:
Baffled.
What the hell? (The lights on the bar dim.)
RILEY: (Accusatory:)
It's 4:40. We agreed to meet here at four.
CHARLIE:
We didn't agree on anything; you told us to be here.
RILEY:
Where were you?
CHARLIE:
Busy.
RILEY:
With?
CHARLIE:
None of your business.
RILEY:
I think it's exactly my business.
CHARLIE:
That sucks; I don't. Now, what have you guys gotten done?
CAMERON:
We're trying to come up with a storyline for -
RILEY:
Nothing. These idiots haven't done a single thing.
(Suddenly, ROSE runs crying offstage. Everyone turns and stares. Pause.)
CAMERON:
What just happened?
CASEY: I’m sure there’s a story there somewhere.
RILEY: (Half a beat.) If you don’t mind, I’m going to try and get this damn project done.
CAMERON:
Idea.
RILEY: (Exasperated.) Oh boy.
CHARLIE: (Simultaneously.) What is it?
CAMERON:
What if we do sock-puppets? For like, everything. Just sock puppets.
RILEY:
No.
CAMERON:
Sock puppet buildings. Sock puppet actors. Sock puppet cameras.
RILEY:
No.
CAMERON:
Fine. What if we had a script about someone who thought they were a whale? And the entire play is about their fight against the United States Congress to get legislation passed recognizing them as an elegant creature of the sea? We can have the Speaker of the House be the bad guy. Oh! And have the characters only speak in whale puns!
RILEY: (Dramatic sigh.)
I hate everyone.
CAMERON: (Playing multiple characters.)
“Speaker of the House, look what we found outside!” “Whale whale whale, what do we have here?”
RILEY:
I hate you specifically.
CAMERON:
“Dude, you need to get them ready to march on the capitol! Make a speech!” “Ladies and gentlemen, lend me your blowholes!”
RILEY:
Stop it.
CAMERON:
“I say! Where there is a whale, THERE IS A WAY!” (RILEY throws something at CAMERON. Hard.)
CHARLIE: (To CASEY.)
Hey, what's up? You're being quiet. Well, more quiet than usual.
CASEY:
Nothing.
CHARLIE:
You filthy liar.
CASEY:
It's nothing, really.
RILEY:
Charlie! Obviously we can’t trust Cam to come up with anything good, so it’s on us. Think!
(GEORGE rushes in stage right, looking slightly disheveled and carrying a massive thing of flowers. He looks around, realizes ROSE isn’t there, and goes over to the BAR. Lights dim on KOPI on the mainstage, lights up on the BAR.)
GEORGE:
What’s the strongest thing you’ve got?
BARISTA: (Sizes him up.)
For you? Espresso.
GEORGE:
I’ll take a shot.
BARISTA: (Serves the drink.)
What’s up?
GEORGE:
My girlfriend isn’t here. I think I just screwed up badly.
TAYLOR:
Oh. Is your girlfriend the one who ran out sobbing?
GEORGE: (That was confirmation - he screwed up.)
You betcha. (Looks at espresso, takes it like a shot, then gags. Accusingly:)
That was not alcohol.
BARISTA:
That’s because we’re a coffee bar.
GEORGE:
Oh. (Brief pause, then GEORGE exits stage right.)
SAWYER:
Something tells me that guy’s an idiot.
BARISTA: (Staring at Sawyer.)
Yeah. We get a lot of those in here.
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