(Lights go down on the OMP, come up on the mainstage which is set to the BACKSTAGE. Only a vanity is onstage, and the background is a plain black curtain. JESSIE is sitting centerstage with her legs dangling off the stage, rocking back and forth. PAT is pacing.)
PAT:
Have you looked outside? It’s so exciting. Your first big performance. Will you remember little old me once you’re a star?
JESSIE: (Terrified.)
Ohmygod-ohmygod-ohmygod-ohmygod-ohmygod- (She continues until interrupted.)
PAT:
Oh my God. You aren’t freaking out, are you?
JESSIE: (With a cracking voice.)
Nooooooo? (She hears herself.)
Yes.
Sobs.
PAT: (Sits down next to her.) What’s up?
JESSIE:
There are a million people out there.
PAT:
Come on. You know that’s not true.
JESSIE:
Fine. There are a billion people out there.
PAT:
And you’re going to rock them.
JESSIE:
I don’t sing rock.
PAT:
And you’re going to soul them.
JESSIE:
I don’t have a soul.
PAT:
You’re going to be fine.
JESSIE:
I am going to be anything but fine.
PAT:
Well, if you keep thinking that, it’ll come true. Why do you think you’re not going to do well?
JESSIE:
Feel my hands.
PAT: (Does so. Beat.)
You’re cold.
JESSIE:
I’M SHAKING!
PAT: (Deadpan.) No you’re not.
JESSIE:
I AM SHAKING!
PAT:
Your hands are entirely still right now -
JESSIE:
I AM A ONE-WOMAN EARTHQUAKE!
PAT:
Okay then. (Beat.)
Let me try something else.
You ever hear the one about the priest, the rabbi, and the girl with stage fright?
JESSIE:
You know, you’re not helping.
PAT:
Maybe I’m not trying to help. Maybe I want you to fail. Maybe I specifically put money on
you going out there tonight and getting hit in the head by at least one tomato. What would you say to that?
JESSIE: (Looks at PAT, then back away.) Not helping.
PAT:
Then tell me what would help.
JESSIE:
Cancelling the show.
PAT:
Tell me what would help.
JESSIE:
Me dying.
PAT:
Tell me what would help.
JESSIE:
Anyone other than you.
PAT:
Want me to call a friend to come talk to you?
JESSIE:
By a friend do you mean you?
PAT:
No.
JESSIE:
Good. (PAT exits stage right. JESSIE screams after him.) I SAID IT’S GOOD BECAUSE I DON’T CONSIDER US FRIENDS!
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