Lights go down on the mainstage and BAR, come up on OMP.

ALEX: (After an establishing pause.) You ever notice how every story is a love story these days?

PARKER: Hmm. Yeah.

ALEX: I wonder when that happened. It’s always about some college aged idiot trying to end up with the girl in the end.


ALEX: And they always win, too.

PARKER: Well, no one likes a sad story.

ALEX: You know, that’s exactly how I know no one will ever write anything about me. I never really had anything of a love life.

PARKER: Huh. Still, though. Say that someone does put you into a play. What would be the purpose of this moment?

ALEX: (Beat.) Probably to cover for a scene change.

PARKER: You seriously never fell in love? Seventy-six years old, and not even one stupid crush?

ALEX: I mean, I guess I had something of a crush for a girl, long time ago. Girl named Emerson.

PARKER: What happened with her?

ALEX: Nothing. Whole lot of nothing. She actually still lives nearby. Takes care of her mother.

PARKER: (Pause.) Why do you know that?

ALEX: (Pause, then, reluctantly.) It might not have been that long ago.

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