Lights go down on the BAR, come up on the mainstage, which is set for THE PATH. The stage is empty other than a few decorative plants. BRENDA and ROSE enter stage right, slowly meander to stage left.

BRENDA: You’re trusting him to plan your anniversary?

ROSE: Yeah? Why wouldn’t I? George is a great guy.

BRENDA: George is an idiot.

ROSE: George is not an idiot.

BRENDA: George forgets where he parked his car as soon as he closes the door.

ROSE: He’s very well-intentioned.

BRENDA: But you aren’t disagreeing about him being an idiot?  (Beat. BRENDA does a small fist-pump, and continues in a softer voice.) Score one, Brenda. (By this point the two have stopped walking, and are now just talking slightly stage-right of centerstage.)

ROSE: I don’t understand what you have against him, anyway.

BRENDA: I don’t like what he’s doing to you, Rose. I feel like I never see you anymore.

ROSE: We see each other plenty.

BRENDA: Think about it. Other than today, when was the last time we hung out?

ROSE: Maybe… Well…

BRENDA: (Cutting off Rose’s train of thought.) Because the answer is three weeks ago. (Beat. BRENDA does another fist-pump, and, again, continues a bit softer.) Score two, Brenda.

ROSE: Maybe we’d see more of each other if you could get along with him.

BRENDA: The first time I ever met him he insulted me.

ROSE: (Attempting to justify for George.)  He said you were interesting looking. It was a compliment.

BRENDA: Interesting has never been a compliment.

ROSE: (As a justification.) He’s an idiot.

BRENDA: (Beat. Again, BRENDA fist-pumps and continues softer.) Score three, Brenda.

ROSE: But look, he’s my boyfriend, I love him, and I think this really could go somewhere.

BRENDA: So you’re trusting him to plan your anniversary by himself?

ROSE: He’s pretty good at planning, once he gets focused. I think he’ll be able to manage it.

(Lights go down on ROSE and BRENDA, come up on GEORGE, who has appeared as far stage left as possible. He is beyond disheveled, and is very rapidly speaking on his phone.)

GEORGE: I have never been less able to manage something in my life. So Yvinne’s diner is closed tomorrow night, so we can’t re-enact our first date, but there are no bowling alleys within half an hour of our town so really the only cheesy thing I could do - because Rose loves cheesy, Rose lives for cheesy - would be to buy her some oversized bouquet of flowers, which she’ll be expecting anyway - you should have heard her in the park, the flowers made her day, I am never allowed to not give her flowers again - and I’m left with no real options that will make her forget that no, I really did not plan this out in advance, so now - when I should be getting ready for our date, getting ready to meet her at Kopi - I’m going to be stuck finding flowers and pulling in every favor any of my friends owe me so that I can make up for it. Women do not have these problems. (Beat.) Move over childbirth, relationships are the new worst pain on Earth.

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