SCENE FIVE

Lights go down on GEORGE, then pick up on the BAR. JORDAN is beginning to amass a pile of dishes below their stool.

JORDAN: MORE COFFEE!

BARISTA: Are you sure?

JORDAN: I NEED IT! GIVE ME WHATEVER HAS THE MOST CAFFEINE!

BARISTA: You sure you don’t want to take up a less dangerous habit? Maybe try smoking?

JORDAN: CAFFEINATE ME!

BARISTA: Alrighty.

SAWYER: Okay, this one is good. Why did the hipster burn his tongue?

(The BARISTA glares at SAWYER.)

JORDAN: (Very overstimulated.) Why?

SAWYER: Because he drank coffee before it was cool. (SAWYER’s friends laugh loudly, the BARISTA slams a cup down onto the bar, still staring at SAWYER. The BARISTA pushes the cup to JORDAN.)

BARISTA: (To JORDAN.) One liquid death.

TAYLOR: You know, I had a friend who was a hipster.

BARISTA: Gasps sarcastically, then continues in the same manner. Really?

TAYLOR: Yeah. He used to be really disappointed that Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr were still alive.

JORDAN: Why?

TAYLOR: He wanted to be able to say he only listened to the Beatles when they were underground.

 


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