This diabolical
practical joke (hatched and implemented by
yours truly) caused quite a stir:
[printed on faked Cornell stationery]
Dear Mr. Li:
We regret to inform you that we will no longer be needing your services here at Cornell Dining. After careful evaluation of your job performance, we have decided that it is in the best interest of both parties to terminate your position at Jansen’s. We have received many complaints from your managers, fellow workers, and customers about your apparent lack of commitment to the standard of excellence that is at the core of the Cornell Dining experience. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause, but this unfortunate situation could have been avoided if you had merely given a rat’s ass about your job.
Sincerely,
Gary Rosenberg
Director of Student Employment for Cornell Dining
The best part is that DMan got a real written warning from his boss as I was creating this - who could ask for better timing? DMan fell for it, hook, line, and sinker. :)