THE LESSER-KNOWN PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES #10: SIMPLE

SIMPLE is an acronym for Sheer Idiot's Monopurpose Programming Language Environment. This language, developed at the Hanover College for Technological Misfits, was designed to make it impossible to write code with errors in it. The statements are, therefore, confined to BEGIN, END and STOP. No matter how you arrange the statements, you can't make a syntax error. Programs written in SIMPLE do nothing useful. Thus they achieve the results of programs written in other languages without the tedious, frustrating process of testing and debugging.

The word simple has a mathematical meaning.

Def A group is said to be simple if it has no normal subgroups other than itself and the trivial subgroup.

Def A ring is said to be simple if it has no two-sided ideals other than itself and {0}.

It is used for other algebraic structures too, with an analagous meaning, whenever there is a concept of an ideal.

The Alternating group An, for n>=5, is an example of a simple group. The Weyl algebra is an example of a simple ring.

There are in fact quite a few mathematical definitions for simple. In addition to what Noether writes,

This is a Phish mini-masterpiece in the tradition of The Mango Song, first recorded on A Live One, Phish's first commercially-available live album. It celebrates the glory of (among other things) cymbals, be-bop, skyscrapers, and the saxophone, but most of all, it celebrates music that is simple. Phish, despite their incessant noodling and adventurous (to say the least) chord progressions, know the beauty of a simple three-chord song written in 4/4. An a cappella ending in almost all live performances, some jalapeno guitar licks right as the song is at its loudest and simplest (because Trey Anastasio is addicted to noodles), and occasionally a horn section are all reasons to catch this one live, or on CD.
Lyrics:

We've got it simple, 'cause we've got a band,
and we've got cymbals in the band.
We've got it simple, 'cause we've got a band,
and we've got symbols in the band.
What is a band without cymbals?
Oooooooh, Cymbals are grand!

We've got a saxophone, 'cause we've got a band,
and we've got saxophone in the band.
We've got a saxophone, 'cause we've got a band,
and we've got saxophone in the band.
What is a band without saxophone?
Oooooooh, Saxophone is grand!

Cymbals and saxophone,
Saxophone and cymbals,
Cymbals and saxophone,
Saxophone and cymbals.


We've got bebop, 'cause we've got a band,
and we play bebop in the band.

(Here's where every member of the band simultaneously does a 5-beat fill, sprays butane from their soul, lights it, and goes back to playing a vanilla song again.)
We've got skyscraper, and it sings a pretty tune,
and every band needs skyscrapers, too!
What is a band without skyscraper?
Oooooooh, skyscraper is grand!

Cym-bop and be-baphone,
skyballs and sax-scrapers.
Cym-bop and be-baphone,
skyballs and sax-scrapers.
Cym-bop and be-baphone,
skyballs and sax-scrapers.
Cym-bop and be-baphone,
skyballs and sax-scrapers.

-=*jam*=-

...and then, a cappella, gradually decrescendo:
Cym-bop and be-baphone,
skyballs and sax-scrapers.
Cym-bop and be-baphone,
skyballs and sax-scrapers.
Cym-bop and be-baphone,
skyballs and sax-scrapers.
Cym-bop and be-baphone,
skyballs and sax-scrapers.
ifyoucan read thisyou're
boundtobe going blindsoon.

Sim"ple (?), a. [Compar. Simpler (?); superl. Simplest.] [F., fr. L. simplus, or simplex, gen. simplicis. The first part of the Latin words is probably akin to E. same, and the sense, one, one and the same; cf. L. semel once, singuli one to each, single. Cg. Single, a., Same, a., and for the last part of the word cf. Double, Complex.]

1.

Single; not complex; not infolded or entangled; uncombined; not compounded; not blended with something else; not complicated; as, a simple substance; a simple idea; a simple sound; a simple machine; a simple problem; simple tasks.

2.

Plain; unadorned; as, simple dress.

"Simple truth." Spenser. "His simple story." Burns.

3.

Mere; not other than; being only.

A medicine . . . whose simple touch Is powerful to araise King Pepin. Shak.

4.

Not given to artifice, stratagem, or duplicity; undesigning; sincere; true.

Full many fine men go upon my score, as simple as I stand here, and I trust them. Marston.

Must thou trust Tradition's simple tongue? Byron.

To be simple is to be great. Emerson.

5.

Artless in manner; unaffected; unconstrained; natural; inartificial;; straightforward.

In simple manners all the secret lies. Young.

6.

Direct; clear; intelligible; not abstruse or enigmatical; as, a simple statement; simple language.

7.

Weak in intellect; not wise or sagacious; of but moderate understanding or attainments; hence, foolish; silly.

"You have simple wits."

Shak.

The simple believeth every word; but the prudent man looketh well to his going. Prov. xiv. 15.

8.

Not luxurious; without much variety; plain; as, a simple diet; a simple way of living.

Thy simple fare and all thy plain delights. Cowper.

9.

Humble; lowly; undistinguished.

A simple husbandman in garments gray. Spenser.

Clergy and laity, male and female, gentle and simple made the fuel of the same fire. Fuller.

10. BOt.

Without subdivisions; entire; as, a simple stem; a simple leaf.

11. Chem.

Not capable of being decomposed into anything more simple or ultimate by any means at present known; elementary; thus, atoms are regarded as simple bodies. Cf. Ultimate, a.

⇒ A simple body is one that has not as yet been decomposed. There are indications that many of our simple elements are still compound bodies, though their actual decomposition into anything simpler may never be accomplished.<-- see fundamental particle -->

12. Min.

Homogenous.

13. Zool.

Consisting of a single individual or zooid; as, a simple ascidian; -- opposed to compound.

Simple contract Law, any contract, whether verbal or written, which is not of record or under seal. J. W. Smith. Chitty. -- Simple equation Alg., an eqyation containing but one unknown quantity, and that quantity only in the first degree. -- Simple eye Zool., an eye having a single lens; -- opposed to compound eye. -- Simple interest. See under Interest. -- Simple larceny. Law See under Larceny. -- Simple obligation Rom.Law, an obligation which does not depend for its execution upon any event provided for by the parties, or is not to become void on the happening of any such event. Burrill.

Syn. -- Single; uncompounded; unmingled; unmixed; mere; uncombined; elementary; plain; artless; sincere; harmless; undesigning; frank; open; unaffected; inartificial; unadorned; credulous; silly; foolish; shallow; unwise. -- Simple, Silly. One who is simple is sincere, unaffected, and inexperienced in duplicity, -- hence liable to be duped. A silly person is one who is ignorant or weak and also self-confident; hence, one who shows in speech and act a lack of good sense. Simplicity is incompatible with duplicity, artfulness, or vanity, while silliness is consistent with all three. Simplicity denotes lack of knowledge or of guile; silliness denotes want of judgment or right purpose, a defect of character as well as of education.

I am a simple woman, much too weak To oppose your cunning. Shak.

He is the companion of the silliest people in their most silly pleasure; he is ready for every impertinent entertainment and diversion. Law.

 

© Webster 1913.


Sim"ple (?), n. [F. See Simple, a.]

1.

Something not mixed or compounded.

"Compounded of many simples."

Shak.

2. Med.

A medicinal plant; -- so called because each vegetable was supposed to possess its particular virtue, and therefore to constitute a simple remedy.

What virtue is in this remedy lies in the naked simple itself as it comes over from the Indies. Sir W. Temple.

3. Weaving (a)

A drawloom.

(b)

A part of the apparatus for raising the heddles of a drawloom.

4. R. C. Ch.

A feast which is not a double or a semidouble.

 

© Webster 1913.


Sim"ple, v. i.

To gather simples, or medicinal plants.

As simpling on the flowery hills she [Circe] strayed. Garth.

 

© Webster 1913.

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