This shall hopefully serve as the unabashed counterpart
to Lady Day
's most complete coverage
of the uncoverage
of the female anatomy
. May god (and anyone from real life
who reads my writeups) have mercy
on my soul
If you've never done it before, above all things, be prepared to be highly uncomfortable
in the days after shaving
. The only immediate solution to stubble
is to shave the stubble, and that surely results in "one of those vicious cycle
thingies," as I think it was said in Clueless
For the most part, the process of shaving the male genitals
is rather similar to the shaving of the female genitals, with one rather large, wrinkly
complication. You can avoid it altogether, if you'd like, and it will save you much itching
in the days to come. However, that might look pretty silly, so I would at least consider undertaking the shaving of your scrotum
if you are at all worried about your genital aesthetic (as, sadly, you must be if you are still reading).
. Everywhere you intend to shave. It's much easier this way. I didn't think of this the first time. Don't ask.
liberally. Don't go easy on the shaving cream, especially the first time.
3. Start working on whatever region you'd like. I would recommend shaving with the grain
on the regions above the groin
bit, that is). Otherwise, you will get some irritation
, and possibly some acne
. You've probably seen what I'm talking about in amateur porn
. The area below
is much easier to shave towards you than away, and the skin
there seems to allow for shaving in any given direction, so long as you use a fresh razor
. You may have to change razors once or twice, for your first shave.
4. When trimming the burlap
of Santa's sack
, be sure to stretch it out, so as to provide a flat surface. (Here's the part where you hold up your hand and say "OMG
5. If you want to uh, shave uncharted territory
... be very careful. That's all I can say, really. Use a mirror
or something, and try not to drive down the middle of the road, so to speak
. You don't want to have to explain this sort of thing to the folks in the emergency room
Feel free to style
as you wish, accompanied by a trimmer perhaps. I am rather fond of the pubic pompadour
. The regular perms
will cut into your budget after a while, but it's well worth the trouble.