For your viewing pleasure, I present: Lady Day's Guide to Effective Pubic Shaving.
(Note: this is only meant to apply to females. Believe it or not, I have never shaved the personal parts of a male).

  1. Do this last thing at night (reason will be made clear later). Never attempt to shave your genitalia while drunk, on interesting narcotics or tired. Female circumcision is bad enough when planned.
  2. Bear in mind, if it's your first time it will take a lot longer than you think. It's a surprisingly large area.
  3. Be in the bath (shower is also acceptable).
  4. Cut the hair short with a pair of (blunt, small) scissors. Stops you gumming up the razor.
  5. Have a new, good razor with you. Last month's blunt and rusty disposable is not appropriate. A new, double- or triple-bladed, fairly expensive reusable one is. Moisturising strips are good.
  6. Cover the area liberally with shaving cream or the equivalent. Conditioner (yes, the gloopy stuff that makes your hair nice) works fine for all shaving purposes.
  7. Shave. Gently. In the direction that the hair is growing (prevents itchy or inflamed regrowth: these are not nice and should be prevented). Covering your clitoris and labia with your other hand is good: see earlier comment about female circumcision. Go slow. Pay attention and concentrate on what you are doing.
  8. Dry the area, gently, with a towel.
  9. Cover the area in Savlon or similar antiseptic cream. You will need to do this for a couple of days. Or it will be sore and believe me, that is not pleasant.
  10. Then cover the Savlon in unperfumed, preferably hypoallergenic/sensitive skin/medicated talcum powder. You keep it dry, it doesn't get irritated, you don't feel as if you have fire ants in your knickers.
  11. Go to bed. Sleep either naked, or with nothing on your bottom half. Underwear/pyjamas will only irritate the freshly-shaved skin, causing you to wake up sore and itchy.
Happy shaving!
This shall hopefully serve as the unabashed counterpart for males to Lady Day's most complete coverage of the uncoverage of the female anatomy. May god (and anyone from real life who reads my writeups) have mercy on my soul.

If you've never done it before, above all things, be prepared to be highly uncomfortable in the days after shaving. The only immediate solution to stubble is to shave the stubble, and that surely results in "one of those vicious cycle thingies," as I think it was said in Clueless.


For the most part, the process of shaving the male genitals is rather similar to the shaving of the female genitals, with one rather large, wrinkly complication. You can avoid it altogether, if you'd like, and it will save you much itching in the days to come. However, that might look pretty silly, so I would at least consider undertaking the shaving of your scrotum if you are at all worried about your genital aesthetic (as, sadly, you must be if you are still reading).

1. Trim. Everywhere you intend to shave. It's much easier this way. I didn't think of this the first time. Don't ask.
2. Lather liberally. Don't go easy on the shaving cream, especially the first time.
3. Start working on whatever region you'd like. I would recommend shaving with the grain on the regions above the groin (the bushy bit, that is). Otherwise, you will get some irritation, and possibly some acne. You've probably seen what I'm talking about in amateur porn. The area below and behind is much easier to shave towards you than away, and the skin there seems to allow for shaving in any given direction, so long as you use a fresh razor. You may have to change razors once or twice, for your first shave.
4. When trimming the burlap of Santa's sack, be sure to stretch it out, so as to provide a flat surface. (Here's the part where you hold up your hand and say "OMG??? TMI!!!")
5. If you want to uh, shave uncharted territory... be very careful. That's all I can say, really. Use a mirror or something, and try not to drive down the middle of the road, so to speak. You don't want to have to explain this sort of thing to the folks in the emergency room.

Feel free to style as you wish, accompanied by a trimmer perhaps. I am rather fond of the pubic pompadour. The regular perms will cut into your budget after a while, but it's well worth the trouble.

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