Ode to the Little Yellow Monsters
Ode to the Little Yellow Monsters
Here in New York, spring
started out fantastic with mild temperature weather and just a few
scattered rain storms here and there. People are finally going outside to
plant flowers and other ornamental flora. Perhaps they'll even grow
some food. Lawns are looking green and healthy, except for one
tiny, itty bitty problem...
The dreaded Dandelions...
Dandelion,
common name for stemless perennial or biennial herbs of the composite
flower family, especially the common dandelion. The species has long
taproots, rosettes of deeply incised lanceolate leaves, and flat
flower heads containing bright yellow florets on hollow, stemlike stalks.
The root of the common dandelion contains a substance used as a
laxative; the root is also roasted and ground as a substitute or
adulterant for coffee. The leaves are used for salad greens and
potherbs, and the flowers are sometimes used for making wine. It is
occasionally cultivated, especially in Europe, but is found chiefly as a
persistent weed in all temperate regions. The red-seeded dandelion is
similar to the common species, but is smaller, with reddish seeds and
darker down. A Russian species has some importance as a source of latex. (Microsoft
® Encarta ® Encyclopedia 2005. © 1993-2004 Microsoft Corporation. All
rights reserved.)
These diminutive yellow
monstrosities explode all over the place in every nook and cranny that
sees the light of day. On the lawn, in between the cracks of walkways,
in the driveway, even after its blacktopped...No matter how we struggle
with our properties it's next to impossible to get every last Dandelion.
They come back in immortal waves like a little army of yellow, hat
wearing, door to door sales persons. You can frantically TRY to dig up
their massive tap root; you can poison every last life bearing weed
on your lawn and still, dreadfully get Dandelions. But alas, it's
completely out of control now, your neighbors have them, and it's only a
matter of time before they get you as well.
Exterminate
Exterminate Exterminate!!!
Whoa! Wait; hold on there a second,
why go through all of the trouble of killing the little monsters if you can
EAT them. Yeah you saw that right, I said eat your Dandelion greens!
Fun for the kids...
Children will gleefully bring their parents
handfuls of dandelion blossoms from time to time, they think "Oh pretty
yellow flower". Any good parent knows enough to smile, thank them,
and quietly throw the flowers away wile the child isn't looking. But,
parents can put this phenomenon to good use. Use the young flowers and
leaves in recipes; kids get a kick out of it.
Fried Blossoms
Step 1...
Start heating up the oil until it reaches 375 degrees
in temperature, in the mean time...
Step 2...
Take the dandelion blossoms and snip off as much of
the greenery as possible without the flower falling apart, because the
greenery is bitter.
Hint: The bitterness comes from that white
liquid flowing from the stems. It is a latex substance, in small
amounts it is harmless but it taste REALLY bad and can have a mild
laxative effect. As the dandelion flower matures it produces
higher quantities of this substance, this is why you want to use young,
new, short stemmed dandelions.
Step 3...
After you make sure you have cleaned away as much of the
bitter greenery you can, take the flowers and clean them in cool,
salted water. This does three things; cleans, reduces any bitterness
left and removes any insects (how fun lol).
Step 4...
Blot each flower dry on a paper towel and prepare
the batter with milk, egg, flour, salt and pepper.
Step 5...
Dip each flower into the batter and then drop them
into the oil, taking care not to splash yourself with the oil, of course.
Step 6...
Drain on absorbent paper; then sprinkle with more
salt to taste. Serve immediately.
(Adapted from Mountain Breeze Kitchen at http://www.mountain-breeze/kitchen/dandelions/1.html)