Today will be the beginning of my plan to improve the computers in my newspaper office. The Brooklyn College Excelsior is going to receive a manifest of all of the working computers, so that the campus library's IT department will figure out what should I do with them. One of the computers will be a file server, while the rest are going to be made more useful to reduce stress on any specific computer. I'm also networking them to the pre-press printer and small-scale laser printer for better use of both of those printers.

This is where the fun begins...

After a long period of abscence (shame on me!) I'm back trying to write a daylog writeup. I just didn't have the time to do more in the past, and to be honest I don't know if I will have more time in the future. But hey, such is life.

It was a busy month, though. And I just managed to get more workload, silly me. My stress relief at work node will be a great help I gather. :) Aside from the occasional IT consultancy I also manage our internal IT infrastructure and to top it off I'm supposed to get some sort of support structure up and running sometime soon.

Sorry if I'm boring you, it's been a long day today.

But hey, today it's friday and that means another fem! And any day now a good friend of mine is going to have a beautiful baby called Anthe. Sometimes life is great! ;)
Worked today, wrote a mid-term for a drama class I don't have but don't care for either. I did some research about Graduate School, I'm thinking of a Masters of Fine Arts, or an MFA. I've been in this room since about noon today, and right now it's about 9:00. I still have about two hours. This is painful. I need to take up a habit so that I can go out and do whatever.

I now have 100 nodes left until I reach level 7. I got a few more of the human muscles down.

I'm still strapped for cash, so, if you'd like, you can mail me some: dan/405 normal/normal, il 61761. I don't think I'll get anything, but that's OK.

I remembered an e-friend of mine that lives in Isreal. He had to join the military a couple years ago there, and he's still, AFAIK, doing that. I also saw a video of a mob of palistinians beating up an Israli Soldier. I hope that wasn't him.

Is the boredom is plainly evident?

I'm going to see Death and the Four Horsemen with a friend later on this year, in about a month, which is cool. I haven't been to a play in nearly a decade, and I'm only 21.

Fortune Cookie Says: There is no rose without a thorn

The full moon keeps getting swallowed up and released and swallowed and released. clouds at night and the wide wide embrace...

I feel so happy when I sing. our alto lead was away, but instead of being nervous I found my voice and sang out and lead the section. what JOY! maybe it's just getting all that extra oxygen to my brain but but but I just want to dance! to jump off in to the sea! to sing! and I sing and sing and sing and come home from practice and sing and sing and then lie down on the couch in the dark and watch the moon do the same dance as me, only without sound. Ahhhh.... it's a good way to be alive.

MMMM, friday the 13th, phear.

So, what did I do today:

Over all, uneventful. The computer thing: I have like 5 games, $5000 worth of software, and $1000 worth of hardware that just WILL not run under Win2000, but loves Win98. Otherwise, I'm beat, and going to bed. I hope Jackie gives me a call tomarrow:\



Pardon my French, but the public transportation in Hämeenlinna fucking sucks. I'm arriving on the bus stop in time, as usual, and see the bus arriving way early of its schedule. Since there is somebody waiting there already, I decide to run for it and dash towards the stopped vehicle. I'm about 4 meters away from the door, when the driver - who most certainly sees me coming - takes off.
Arigato gozaimasu.
So here I am again, arriving late at the office. Thankfully my boss isn't present or I'd be in trouble again. Boycott Vekka-Liikenne!

And don't even think about telling me it's the Friday 13th causing this. 13 is my lucky number and Friday my favorite day of the week. So unless I am hit by a meteor in the next 12 hours, I refuse to admit that this is an unlucky day.

At least I get my pay today. Wo-hoo. If my calculations are correct, I have a whopping 2000FIM to spend after taxes and my savings for the Tokyo trip. I won't be in competition with Bill & Larry any time soon, but I'm not a CEO of Boxman either. :)

Time to get back to the PHP, ASAP. More crap later.

To be continued...

Friday the 13th, Full Moon
(great day for werewolves! =)


Nothing odd has happened... yet... =)

Well... woke up. shower. coffee.

Stuff to do: I have an idea about an article to send to K5... but I'll node about it too. It's about one interesting principle I've noticed. (Actually, when I first mentioned it, people put that to their .signatures... strange, that, I though I sometimes say something fairly quotable but that was the first time it actually happened. =)

Wellwell, time to face the challenges of the day.


In Usenet, someone posted about a problem with a CGI program that printed the source of a file.

Written by a beginner coder... I hope they'll either take the script offline or make it work better. Someone may be helding their /etc/passwd for ransom, in case that'll make them working harder to achieve that goal... =)

I bought a new game: Shogun - Total War. It's, uh, cool. It's not your average boring RTS - it has the twist.

(Strange, I just cooled DMan's writeup about S:TW. Shows he wrote good stuff, too. =)



Yesterday, all I got was spam and mailing list traffic...

Today: 6 spamules, some mailing list things, and 6 personal E-mails! Looks like people haven't completely forgotten about me...


Dammit! I got to

  • Play some N...n...nnn... Nethack. Maybe that is a Requirement. I mean, FullMoon+Ft13th is pretty interesting idea.
  • Some more Shogun... I'll see if there are patches that would make it stop less to load stuff from hard disk. =) (No, I don't think it's because of 'Minimal' install, because the stuff gets loaded from hard drive, not CD-ROM!)
  • Uh, I downloaded Terragen too. Got to see if it's worth anything...

Other day logs o' mine...

Noded today by y.t.: Boxman /etc/passwd Terragen


I need to break this 2:30 P.M. curse, it's making my whole day disappear quite fast. It was today I realized that Beer and Coke manufacturers are in deadly competition with each other. How do I know this? Well, I have very little space on my computer desk, forcing me to stack cans. Coke and Beer cans have different diameters, making them near unstackable. Therefore I must decide... Beer or coke. Can't have both. Terrible.

Mr. Client decided to stop by today, and I managed to keep from choking him. The same guy as yesterday. He speaks v e r y slowly, and even worse, repeats everything three times. As if that weren't irritating enough, he stutters. Badly. So you have this guy, stuttering while talking slow, repeating everything three times so I get it for sure. And always making sure I can do this or that, never knowing quite what the hell he is talking about. Grrr.

Roland told me that he would play some of my tracks on NYU's radio station, so if you're up there, keep an ear open. It's three A.M., my layout is due at six, wish me luck.

And to whoever downvotes dreamnodes, whether they be mine or someone elses: What is your deal? Should we not dream in such offensive ways, or do you just not grant us these tidbits of our lives in which we do not have to deal with wankers like you?

It seems that I was one day off with my daylogs so far. So herein follows what happened on the calendarical October 13, after I woke up.
Client called around 10 A.M., left me a message to call him back - it turns out he can't open a zip file. Does this guy dress himself?
Jason's coming into town tonight, so we'll have to see what that results in.

prev next daylog

Ah, I look at all of the daylogs before mine, and I think: lucky bastards. These are your worries:

I wish those were my worries.

My worries are:

I guess all of you have seen the news lately. Well, we're just about in a state of war here in Israel. The Palestinians think so, anyway. There are very few left wingers left in Israel who think that talks are possible with Yasser Arafat, now that he's broken every last promise he made. I can see the change in myself, and I'm not too happy with it. Since the release of all the Hamas activists yesterday, it's obvious that there's no hope now.

I'm scared about the revenge lynches that are probably going to happen around Israel today. If I was an arab living in a Jewish city, I wouldn't leave the house for a week. It's horrible how people's mentalities have changed. And I don't think there's any going back now. This hate had died down a bit in the past few years, but it's come back now, stronger than ever.

I am, in Israel, probably in the most left wing 10% of the population, and I am beginning to feel right wing mentality. I hate that. I hate feeling that everything I believed in is crap. I hate to see that the only way is violence. But it appears to be the only way now. There's simply no one to talk to. And it all seemed so close.

Yesterday I played indoor, five-a-side football for the first time in years. It was a friendly 4-a-side match as we didn't have enough players for a real game of five-a-side football. It was also the first aerobic exercise I've done in the past 12 months (other than making the beast with two backs of course).

After just 30 minutes of running around, I honestly thought I was going to puke. I left the sports hall to get a drink in the changing rooms. After a minute of drinking water and leaning over the loo, the feeling of nausea passed, and I was able to return to the match, albeit running a little slower. Clearly I am very unfit. I'm not fit, just don't do enough exercise. Oh well. I've vowed to continue with this crazy sport, and 40 minutes of football each week will hopefully have me as fit as a butcher's dog. Or something.

I hit Level 4 yesterday. I can cool your ass, whoo-hoo! I already have enough XP to be at level 6, will need to write shitloads of writeups before I get the treasured image on my homenode. Loads of time to choose a good one I guess.

At work I'm having to get to grips with XML, which I am enjoying. XML rocks. MSXML doesn't, but have magically escaped using that. I may have to write-up some stuff on XML soon. I find noding a good, productive way of ordering my thoughts on a subject. Of course, I could use pen and paper, but this way is more fun.

I got pulled over on the way to work this morning

I was doing 31 mph in a 2 mph school zone... I deserved to be pulled over.
I pulled in to a quiet area. and pulled out my license insurance and concealed handgun license. He asked where my weapon was, I pointed making slow movements making sure he knew that I was not going to grab for it and asked if he would like me to step out of my truck, he said no and took my information and ran it through. It came back clear and I got off with a warning. THANK YOU GOD! I was worried a ticket right now would really suck.

I ended up having a houseful of people last night. Chad, anm, and his wife Donna all just dropped by last night. Chad had to leave and anm and Donna and I just sat around watching old recorded episodes of Mr. Show.

There are two reasons why today is good day, payday for one, and both of the bosses of the IS department are gone today. That means we'll let the helpdesk answering machine get the calls and it's time to do some MP3ing!

I'm not in mortal danger. I'm not in Israel. I don't carry a concealed weapon. I've driven 140390 miles (225887 kilometers) since I got my car (June 12, 1998), and in that time have gotten one speeding ticket and my only accident involved a shopping cart. I was in Park at the time... Today is Friday the 13th. That means nothing to me, really. It's not all that uncommon. All in all, I'm in pretty good shape.

Things to do today:

  • laundry -- it's becoming impossible to walk across our room. Something must be done.
  • deposit check from mom, and pay the rent
  • fix the botch of a wiring job my housemate Rick made of the downstairs network
  • possibly purchase a fast ethernet hub
  • log the 10 hours of videotape I haven't logged yet, in preparation for doing interesting things with it in EditDV
  • have a Serious Discussion with housemates about how a thermostat works, and why when you're hot the proper response is to adjust the thermostat to your desired temperature and not to simply ram it down to 50F/10C.
  • kill whoever gave me this horrid cold
  • get some vitamin C
Ah, a full day of fun.

back | days | forth

The cold water sits above the uneffervesced painkillers at the bottom of the glass. Neither is doing much, so I move the glass slowly around in small circles, sloshing a wave of water just below the rim. For a few seconds, nothing happens, then a small tendril of white powder is caught by an invisible hand and whipped upwards. It somehow pulls more and more of the painkiller up with it; for an instant a perfect spiral helix is formed of white dust. Then everything dissolves as some lorenzian boundary is passed and the painkiller staircase is ripped apart by invisible sledgehammers.

This is the glass in my hand, yet it somehow reflects the conversations last night: A three- or four-way conversation builds out of nothing in a strange spontaneous way. For an instant, it too is perfect; everyone has their say, everyone is happy with the input and outputs from this social machine. Then something happens: someone else interjects or something inept is said and everything goes pear shaped, the conversation and group flying apart as if we were seeds falling from the wind-blown trees outside. We then regroup, or join another imminent conversation's perfection.

It's sobering to think that we act the same as a bunch of dumb particles...

Or maybe I am just too bored and high on painkillers to think straight :-P

reasons and reality..

it was a beautiful midnight, and the sky.. well, the moon was so bright last night it seemed almost as if it were early morning. sometimes i just want to sleep forever and not at all, just to live a perpetual dream. there are so many things i need to do.. just little things, and i guess i am already, living some sort of dream, i feel so far away from everything when i peer through this glass.

i know i'm crazy to want this, or anything that i have. so overwhelming to just be anymore. i try so hard to be okay for everyone.. and sometimes i think i even am, for myself.

i don't think i'm one of those people that was meant to deal all the time. but then, where would i be without the things that leave me pondering such stuff.. there isn't a whole lot else. of course i am not so sure of most everything right now, emotional instability is all i have to hold onto, temporarily of course.
i am okay, i am.

there were never any questions..

where are your thoughts tonight? (who are they with?) how does it feel? did you smile at death?
who hurt you? can you? i can't.

no one ever dies from
scathing word progression to hiding.
i am always

..i never wanted answers.

i actually got some sleep last night made up in a way for the lack of it these past few days i am planning something for this weekend i have not yet determined exactly what that might be but movie/watch/laugh/crysleep/pillow/hold and i'll miss you every second, especially when i'm awake there are these days i forget them sometimes because no one gave me the capability to remember amidst inner turmoil the important little things but i called him and i'm glad i did.

i am not always falling for the first time, i know this, you still make it all seem more real and amazing.

this is where the undying gratitude is expressed.
                       thank you.
          so much.

always remember to breathe.

Going back to correct a few writeups, this one should have been a daylog:

August 7, 2000

Something in me today needs to cry. Maybe it was the rough weekend moving. Maybe it's PMS. Maybe it's just the world catching up to me. There are times today when I feel like crawling under my desk and letting myself be reduced to a fit of tears, and I have no idea what's causing it. I want to just get it over with; to lock myself up in a room and weep, banging on the walls and laying on an old mattress on the floor. Just get it all out. I need to rid myself of this growing ball of emotional sickness in the pit of my stomach, the top of my throat, and the back of my mind.

I'm baaaaack....

Well hidey ho there kids... I'm back from the dead.

I've got a new job now, and no time to node since I was in training for the last few weeks. Now I'm all settled in my new cube at my new job and life is pretty damned good. Well, its good except for this cold that has settled in my nostrils and lungs and makes me sound like I have chewing gum crammed up my nose when I talk.

I would have been here earlier this week since I started my solo gig out of training on Monday, but I was having trouble getting around the proxy server for some reason. Anyway, I got it all figured out now, and I'm ready to start noding during work again between phone calls.

This new job is pretty cool. I really like everyone on my team here and I'm getting paid a LOT more than I was before. Help desk work can be crappy, but this place is pretty good and the callers aren't rude. I even have a bigger cubicle than my old job, and I have two computers! TWO! Why do I need two computers?? I don't know, but its pretty damned cool. One of them is a brand new Dell with a 21" monitor. WooHOO!! The other is an older HP Vectra running Win95, and its sort of our "junk" computer that each of us gets to use as a jukebox, testing ground, whatever. There are sound cards on order for the new Dells so that we can use training programs on them with headphones, but we have to supply our own speakers if we want to listen to music. I'm going to install the sound card the company gets me into the Dell, then cannabilize one of my old machines at home for a CD-ROM drive and sound card for my HP.

The only bad thing about this job is commuting from Vancouver to Tigard, which is about 30-40 miles each way, and traffic sucks ass when I have to drive it. Its worth it for the money, but I wish that my car stereo worked so it wasn't so boring. Then again, the silence is good for my thought processes. I am able to think seriously about some things while I drive rather than just sing along mindlessly with the stereo.

So, things are going pretty well right now. Only an hour before I get to leave work and today is pay day. Unfortunately, my direct deposit didn't go through for this paycheck, so I will have a physical check waiting for me at my PO Box. I will have to run to the bank before 6 to get it deposited. Even then, it probably won't be really in there until Monday. Oh well. I can float a couple checks I guess.

Time to get back into the swing of noding and look for my list of things I wanted to node. Its nice to be back. :)

Nodes That I Wrote Recently:

You should read the The Great Grand E2 Book Lotto node.

CD’s I’ve Listened To Today:
None - need to bring in speakers for computer soon!

Today’s Horoscope on my Calendar (Aries) - its at home - need to bring that in too!

I think I made a mistake.

I sent a link to a node on everything 2 to someone today.
I wanted them to read it, I knew they’d like it, but I underestimated how much interest they would take in the website itself, and any possible role I may have.

I spent the last hour of the afternoon fending off questions.

-Are you Factgitl?
-Are you WickerNipple?
-Well, it is a great name.
-You are, aren’t you? You’re WickerNipple.
-You are.
-No. No I’m not.
-I think you are.
-I can’t believe you fell for that obvious double bluff…
-I can’t believe you’re trying to pretend it’s a double bluff

and so on, and so on.

Oh, God, I hope he forgets about it. I know him through work, he’s a client.

I’ll be mortified if he finds out how I feel about my job (see pretty much every other daylog I’ve ever written!).

Damn, this is like The Cosby ShowHave you learnt something from this, kids?

Today seemed to be "Yell at Codger while he rides his bike day". The first prepetrator was this old-ish man gimping (for lack of a better word. I mean this purely in the limping sense--not the sexual) down the sidewalk, half-yelling, half-incoherently-mumbling,

"Wear a helmet, wear a helmet"

Of course I was thinking of "Stay on target..." from the Holy Trilogy at this point ... But then, as I entered the street his eyes went wide as he screamed

"Suicide! You're committing suicide!"

I rode off, and obviously, in doing so, did not commit suicide.

crazy old wacko

Later, riding back home, I was braking, squealing loudly, when a woman pedestrian shouted

"Time to get those replaced!"

and followed with a discourse on her troubles with brakes, primarily those of her car.

Again, I muttered an acknowledgement and rode across the street, into the sunset.

I really should replace those brake pads. My sneakers are getting really worn down.
Friday the 13th. Least lucky and most common day of the year. Bloody ironic, isn't it?

Woke up today at 5 am, after having fallen asleep around 10:30. Freezing and unable to move my arms, I realized I had done the following: After lolling about for a few minutes, I got up and pulled the clothes from the dryer and placed the wet ones into the dryer. I turned off the light, locked the computer, grabbed the blankets, and fell back asleep.

Roll to 9 am. I'm having a dream about a supermarket. The dream has in part to do with several recurring dreams of mine, one of which I had been thinking about earlier in the day. In the supermarket is a person I knew from high school who now attends Harvard. In mid-sentence, the alarm goes off. Naturally I hit snooze and fall back asleep. As the dream continues, he and I are talking. His hand-basket is filled with food, including cookies and ice cream, both of which look great. After getting him to tell me where I found the ice cream, we walk toward it. It's in one of the open-air freezers that sit out about waist high that go the length of the aisle. Unfortunately, this freezer was very large and was about fifteen feet wide.

There was one quart of the ice cream left, next to some fudgesicle type things.

Guess where it was.

Not stopping to wonder why the freezer would be fifteen feet across, why the ice cream is all the way at the far end of it, or why the last quart is where it is, I push my basket aside, place my hands on the rail, and hoist myself up.

As my weight presses down, the instant my feet leave the floor, a buzzer rings very loudly. I panick and wonder if I've broken something or triggered an alarm.

An alarm that sounds a lot like my alarm clock.

That's how I started my day.

I trudged to work and bought a book for a class, The House Of Spirits by Isabel Allende. Pages 1 to 30 needed to be read by noon, and I obviously had not started. Luckily for me, one of my university's online classes was having a test today that was going to involve 90 people, which is a first for our fledgling online system. I was volunteered to man the phones in the event someone needed help, which was better than doing...whatever it is I would have done. It also gave me time to read my book.

I finished my reading. I went to class. I took notes and we got out of class early. There was no quiz on pages 1 to 30. A good thing? A bad thing? I don't know.

I went back to work, to start writing an essay while I waited to start my next shift. While waiting, I asked my boss if he could download a few files for me that I wasn't able to get. He agreed, and when he was done asked me how I proposed to get the fifteen megs home. I told him to try my FTP server, and gave him the necessary information. I hung out a bit more and asked if there was even any work for me to do that day, as he was searching for things for himself to do. He said no, unless I could think of anything.

Hmm, going home or hanging out at work for three hours...

I went home.

Snood is crack. If you haven't played Snood, you're missing out. Remember the arcade game where the screen is Tetris-like with different icons filling the upper portion of the screen, and you have to shoot the icons to the top of the screen and try to get 3 of the same icon to touch each other to get them fall off the screen? Whether you do or not, check for the screenshot on the front page. Like I said, Snood is crack, and play I did. For about five hours.

Intermittently, I talked to a friend of mine, the friend for whom I've been pining so much the past few weeks. She still has a boyfriend and she still has expressed little interest in me. Her boyfriend is visiting her this weekend, which is why I'm not spending time with her instead of playing Snood.

I don't know him but already I do not like him.

Since then I've done some editing, possibly met Stile from The Stile Project here on E2, and used all my votes. Was it a bad Friday the 13th? Fucking horrible, because of the porn thing. How's it feeling now? Not too bad, now that I've written about it.

Yes, I know it's technically the 14th now. The day doesn't start until I wake up.
I decided to start a day log to see how I liked it. Here goes...

It was payday so I went to class dutifully then picked up my check. Watched Passions on tape (it's been a really good week, Ethan got Theresa off of the plane!), bought my $20 worth of groceries for the two weeks. I tried to study but that didn't end up working out, instead Kim and I got our roommate who's 22 to buy us alcohol and then we went over to Jon's and drank his alcohol. Spent the night over there, drank vodka, did calculus (while drunk, it was kind of entertaining), and watched the episodes of Passions that we'd missed because of VCR difficulties. What an exciting life I lead. :)

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