I am invited to a party and we are all standing around waiting for something to happen. Steve Burns (of Blue’s Clues) is the main attraction, a for hire male stripper. He comes in looking distracted with a mini boom box and long trench coat. Underneath, sure enough, are the trademark green stripped underpants. I look around at the other women and think, “I am hanging out with a bunch of nerds.”. Then it occurs to me that they are not really nerdy it’s just that they have open faces, too bright eyes, no malaise brewing under the surface. Suddenly I am jealous.

Things shift to full-fledged freak out. It’s like one of the Lee Stories, but it never really happened. I am a big hairy man. I wear an executioners mask. I am on top of Lee in her bed. She says “really give it to my ass big boy” and she is slapping my big meaty arms. I get a little freaked out and want to leave but she is getting mean. Inside I am a big wuss, and I go limp. She kicks me out. I stand in the hallway of her apartment building, naked except for the mask. I cry about it.