Posted this Pungenday, the 35th day of Discord in the YOLD 3190
Principia Discordia
00027
Fun Fact: American Cockroaches like beer.
“We’re keepers or kept from, players or played. Secrets and cockroaches - that’s what will be left at the end of it all.” -– Maggie Stiefvater
St. Gulik is the Messenger of the Goddess. A different age from ours called him Hermes, another Mercury. Many people called him by many names. (What's in a name?) He is a Roach.
Actually, the amazing thing about Saint Gulik is that he's really all roaches. Remember that bunch you saw a few weeks ago? That was all one roach moving really, really fast. Fact of the matter is, whenever you "step on a roach," all of what's happening, in reality, is that Saint Gulik sees your foot coming (at about the rate you see the stars wheeling across the night sky), rushes off, builds a Gulik simulacrum and leaves it where your foot is about to hit. And he does all this in his copious free time.
Now that's fast!
One day Mal-2 asked the messenger spirit Saint Gulik to approach the Goddess and request Her presence for some desperate advice. Shortly afterwards the radio came on by itself, and an ethereal feminine Voice said,
YES?
"O! Eris! Blessed Mother of Man! Queen of Chaos! Daughter of Discord! Concubine of Confusion! O! Exquisite Lady, I beseech You to lift a heavy burden from my heart!"
WHAT BOTHERS YOU, MAL? YOU DON'T SOUND WELL.
"I am filled with fear and tormented with terrible visions of pain. Everywhere people are hurting one another, the planet is rampant with injustices, whole societies plunder groups of their own people, mothers imprison sons, children perish while brothers war. O, woe."
WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH THAT, IF IT IS WHAT YOU WANT TO DO?
"But nobody wants it! Everybody hates it."
OH. WELL, THEN STOP.
At which moment She turned herself into a commercial for LieQuest 2024: A Lie Quest of Mythologically Discordian Proportions and left the Polyfather stranded alone with his species, his ships, his shoes, and his sealing wax.
From a Discordian perspective, Saint Gulik embraces the darkness of the Erisian Mysterees and those things just outside the range of common sense. It is the Void, the season of Chaos as well as the unconscious mind. Darkness is part of the diurnal cycle – one necessary to the well-being of all creatures. In the dark, we renew ourselves for ignorance is bliss, truly. The night also has ties to mysticism and magic. When faced with setbacks or obstacles, remember Saint Gulik and persist in your efforts to achieve the goal of spreading your message.
NOTE: Sri Syadasti should not be confused with Blessed St. Gulik the Stoned, who is not the same person but is the same Apostle.
"You've got your mother's cheekbones and your father's crooked smile."
Wow, thought Saint Gulik, what a strange thing to be told when you're a cockroach.
--><--
Omnia Discordia - Lives of the Saints
*Archy is also St. Gulik & St. Gulik is also Archy,
Archy being an abbreviated nickname for Archetype.