For anyone who cares, here is the
plot (there may be errors here as I haven't had the
courage to watch this in quite some time).
The
movie begins with the crew enjoying shore leave in
Yosemite National Park.
Kirk falls off a mountain, and
Spock ponders the meaning of "
Row, Row, Row Your Boat." Pretty lame. At the same time a mysterious figure named
Sybok leads an uprising on
Nimbus III,
planet of intergalactic peace. He takes the only settlement and captures the
Federation,
Klingon, and
Romulan representatives. Kirk is called in to save the day, but unfortunately the
Enterprise is in.... disrepair. While this is all going on, a stupid Klingon captain on a power trip decides he wants to fight... somebody. He decides to go after the enterprise. Well, Kirk gets to Nimbus III,
Uhura dances
naked, and they assault the settlement. They are captured by the ambassadors, whom Sybok has
brainwashed. It is learned that Sybok is Spock's half-brother who was banished from
Vulcan for his desire to seek
Sha ka ree (or something like that). He takes the Enterprise and sends it towards the
Great Barrier, an energy field that no one has ever crossed. The Klingons give chase, but the Enterprise makes it to and through the barrier. The party lands on the planet beyond the barrier, and quickly finds out they are not alone. A powerful being that they assume is
God appears before them and asks for the Enterprise. Kirk, because he's stupid, asks, "What does God need with a starship?" to which God responds with
lightning bolts through his chest. The rest of the party gets off the planet except Kirk and Sybok (who killed himself attacking God). God chases Kirk, but is stopped by Spock piloting a
Bird-of-Prey (don't ask). Everybody is happy in the end, and
Sulu and
Chekov try to get some Klingon
booty.
Now, was that so bad? Of course it was. It was
stupid. It was the worst
Trek movie ever, and I hope now it is obvious why.