There are times when both the beauty of the world and the pain of it touch me at the exact same moment. These are times like when I'm listening to Mozart and I see a horrific car crash (which I've actually had happen) or when I'm playing with a happy little kid and see people treat a man holding a Please help. Hungry. sign with contempt.

I think that not just the existance of these experiences, but the fact that I notice these moments has significantly affected my life. I can no longer see a world in black and white, but in highly blurred, unclear shades of gray.

I had another moment like that today. I was listening to Portishead on my Walkman while I went running this evening and, as I was walking for a little while, I saw an abandoned old house with, among other things, a decrepid old highchair with food still on it on the lawn.

And I wonder how, at the same moment, I can find both hope and dispair.