Why is it that some individuals leave a trail of destruction in relationship space? I suppose some are evil, or selfish, or are out to punish mankind or get over some horribly painful breakup or all of the above. Sliced another way, you could say it's some combination of intent and negligence. But I'd guess that it's more of a naive destructive power.

Individual has learned the art of getting someone to like them. She's learned how to push men's buttons. She wants to enthrall, but doesn't want them to fall. (Or maybe she is evil, and is going for maximum destruction.)

    Now, let's look at some failure modes:
  • doesn't yet know how to calibrate this power/doesn't know when to stop /guy might be hard to read
  • guy might be extra suceptable
  • guy likes something about her that she isn't considering
  • woman might fall for man and send the thing right over the edge (which is okay, as long as she navigates communicate vs withdraw properly)
One needn't intentionally push buttons in order for this sort of thing to happen. Some people habitually do it. But really, this is primarily about the trail of destruction modality, whether intentional of oblivious. (possibly some thrash on the casual vs serious relationship front)

an answer to Why have most men I've ended up with been black holes of emotional need?, reflecting on a recent bout with my own emotional event horizon