The mother of all obnoxious kids came in my bookstore today. I wasn't aware that children did this sort of thing outside of bad movies. Here's the scene: Granddad wants to order a book and he is standing at my counter giving his information and listening to how much it will cost and whatnot. Granddaughter runs up with piece of shit toy that claims to help kids become spies.

"Granddad, will you buy this for me?"

"Not today, honey."

"Will you look at how much it is and if you have that much will you buy it for me?"

"No. No, honey, I'm not buying it for you today."

(Note that he stays entirely calm.)

"Here. Here, look at the price tag. See?"

"I see it."

"Will you buy it for me?"

"No. Not today, maybe another day."

"But look. It says it's only four ninety-five."

"Honey, it doesn't say that."

"Then it's one less?"

(Both Granddad and I look confused, but Granddaughter seems to think she has made sense.)

"No, honey, it's not. You see this?"

"Yeah. The price. Will you buy it? It's only four dollars."

"No, look. It says it's fourteen ninety-five."


"No, honey, I said not today."

Granddaughter goes away and Granddad gives me some more information. In about half a minute Granddaughter is back.

"So will you buy it for me?"

"No. Maybe some other day."

"But you always say that! PLEAAAASSSSEEE???"

I want to smack her now. Granddad is as unruffled as when she started bugging him.

"I said no. Another time. Maybe."


"No, not tomorrow."

"Please? Tomorrow?"

"I said not tomorrow."


Note that this is said in a tone of voice she could have only gotten from a mother thinking she is being reasonable.

"I'm not buying it for you. It's fourteen ninety-five. You don't need that anyway."



"Will you buy it? Please? Granddad, buy it for me!"


And then he's finished up the ordering process and given me all the necessary information. He thanks me and says he has to go take care of this.

I really hope she never gets it. One only has to listen to the way she wheedles to realize that it probably works sometimes on other adults. Incidentally, this girl was just shy of teenagerhood. Way too old to be a cute brat (and I never liked cute brats much anyway, as my little sister was one). Ugh. Did I mention I'm never having kids? Or grandkids?

We got a new manager today, again. It was the first time I'd met him but the other people who already have had a couple of days to get to know him say he's rather stupid and just not very aware of what's going on. They also say he goes to juvenile halls and preaches the gospel to the poor lost souls. Sounds like I've found my future husband. NOT. Oh, and they're dicking me around about my raise. Again. It was what, two months ago they said I'd get it? Grr and double grr.

Oh yeah, and I cleaned my kids' department and then two hours later one family had singlehandedly made it a disaster area again. Ho-hum. What makes people think our store is their playroom in which to be slobs is beyond me.

My diet's going well, according to my cheap-ass bathroom scale I'm down to 106 pounds. Here's today's menu:

1 granola bar: 120 calories

1 apple: 80 calories
1 crescent cake: 65 calories
Half a bagel: 130 calories
1 cup skim milk: 90 calories

1½ cup salad: 15 calories
2 tablespoons lite Miracle Whip: 70 calories
1 tablespoon Heinz Ketchup: 40 calories

1 scrambled egg: 100 calories
¾ cup broccoli: 35 calories
¼ cup dried apricots: 100 calories
2 pickle slices: 20 calories
1 Morningstar Farms fake chicken patty: 150 calories

That makes a total of (drum roll please) 995 calories! That leaves me 5 calories to play with, which basically means I can drink a shitload of Pepsi One and that's about it.