I was eating some really horrible eggplant parmigiana from a local euro-yuppie-sludge outfit, and I suddenly noticed that in all the time I had been eating food from this place, they have never skimped on the cheese.

To me, cheese is probably the most important thing in everything, and there's never enough. This place always seems to include more than enough cheese, in fact, this place includes so much cheese that I was actually having the thought that i'm about to describe to you right now.

"I wonder if this place has way too much cheese and they need to get rid of it quickly"

Which then made me wonder:

"I wonder if this place's cheese is stolen, because why else would one so hastily want to dispense with cheese?"

Which then made me wonder:

"If someone gave me a million dollars worth of cheese, how would I go about liquidating it as soon as possible into cold hard cash?"

I mean, if I had a million dollars worth of cheese, how could I turn that into money? I could sell it to supermarkets, but in order to do that I would need refrigerated cheese trucks and the know-how to transport large quantities of cheese from one place to another. And really, what kind of shady supermarket would buy a million dollars worth of cheese from some guy?

It'd be quite disconcerting to me if I found out that my cheese supply was coming from some independent cheese collector or inheritor of a large cheese fortune.

So i'm betting i'd have to bribe a large number of supermarkets and give them extremely good deals on the cheese in order to make it impossible for them NOT to say yes to my crooked cheese dealings.

Keep in mind that all of these cheese shenanigans are going on while the clock is ticking -- the cheese is not getting any younger.

Which then made me think

"I bet if you sold your soul to the devil or something, he'd pull this sort of crap on you."

Man, I hate the devil.