Monty Python fanatics
should note that this transcription
of "The Cheese
Shop Sketch" as well as other transcriptions of Monty Python
sketches on everything seem to have come from a different
scripting of the sketches, most likely from the 35 mm
Python feature And Now For Something Completely Different
. This movie featured old Monty Python's Flying Circus
sketches shot on newer looking sets and with slight
script additions. In this particular instance, this sketch is much different towards the end (and personally, I think the older script is funnier
First of all, when the customer enters the shop (he's referred to in the scripts as "Mousebender"), there's no extended "good morning" exchange. The shopkeeper just says "Good Morning!" as the first line in the sketch, and Mousebender launches into his "sitting in the public library" line.
Secondly, in the original skit it's just music, not bazouki playing. In what may be one of the funniest parts of the skit that isn't mentioned here, after Mousebender says "I like a nice dance, you're forced to!", there's a quick cut to a Viking who says "Anyway..." Cut back to the shopkeeper who looks around in alarm and yells "Who said that?!"
Now, for the coolest part of the skit, I'll just reproduce the original lines since this writeup differs rather greatly, starting at "It was an act of pure optimism to pose the question in the first place."
Mousebender (John Cleese): Tell me something, do you have any cheese at all?
Wensleydale (Michael Palin): Yes, sir.
MB: Now I'm going to ask you that question once more, and if you say 'no' I'm going to shoot you through the head. Now, do you have any cheese at all?
MB: (shoots him) What a senseless waste of human life.
Mousebender puts a cowboy hat on his head. Cut to stock shot of man on horse riding into the sunset. Music swells dramatically.
CAPTION: 'ROGUE CHEDDAR (1967)'