Before I get into things: a disclaimer
I felt like I related to Chord's writeup in this node to some degree, and that is my motive for writing this. This isn't a response to Chord's writeup, it is a separate entity — though some of the content may be similar. In addition, this writeup is my opinion, and while some elements presented in the course of argument may be objectively correct, my personal opinion and experiences are subjectively correct. For example, the statement "the concept of gender exists" is something that is objectively correct, while the statement "I personally do not feel as though I have a gender" is subjectively correct. This post is a bit of a ramble with no real point; it is an opinion, it is personal, it is philosophical, it is an argument, and it is a statement.
What is gender identity, anyways?
For sake of argument, let's make an abstraction. In this post in particular, "variable" should be interpreted to be synonymous with "attribute", "element (of)", and "stereotype"; also, I am using "gender" as a term conducive to identity, not conducive to your biological sex. If you perceive gender as biological sex, please put aside your subjective perception for the duration that you read this post, otherwise you will likely not really perceive what I am trying to communicate.
Most everyone goes about their lives under the presumption that they have a gender, but almost nobody goes about their lives with a defined concept of gender, simply that it arguably corresponds to some degree (the extent of which is disputable) to their biological sex. On one extreme end of the spectrum, gender is your biological sex, and the opposite extreme is exemplified in otherkin: people whose gender identity corresponds with fairies and other mythological creatures, inanimate objects, videogame/fictional characters, pop-culture icons, etc. because the desire their variable attributes. The average individual tends not to gravitate toward one of the extremes; but rather, somewhere between the two, and generally toward the former. Regardless, it is almost unanimously agreed that any given gender has a collection of variables inherently bound to it. Let's go with one of the more obvious examples; woman can wear makeup, and men had ought not to. Men can have leg hair, and women had ought not to. I am not arguing in favor of these things; I am merely pointing out that they are generally perceived to be variables that are bound to gender.
If you're fixing to dispute these examples, before writing me a message arguing that my given examples are not perceived variables bound to gender, go ask a random (or twenty) right off the street something akin to "what gender wears makeup and what gender does not?"
What is masculinity? Masculinity is simply a collection of variable attributes. The same applies to femininity; it is a collection of variable attributes. Some variables overlap, many do not. Some variables seem to be nearly universal, and some are in dispute based on culture, religion, ideology, etcetera. Some female-sex people desire a larger number of masculine variable attributes than feminine variable attributes. Sometimes, that desire is mild or near-nonexistent, and the person does not really experience what we would call dysphoria, and they live their lives comfortable with the identity of their biological gender. Sometimes, that desire is more intense, and they experience what we would call dysphoria, and they identify as masculine. These people are considered "men", unless you fall under the extreme that sees gender as conducive to biological sex. The same principle applies to male-sex individuals who desire a larger number of feminine variable attributes than masculine variable attributes.
I'm not going to write a similar section about sexual identity as I don't really have one, never really have, so I wouldn't consider myself knowledgeable enough to write on it.
What about other forms of identity?
A person can identify with any arbitrary thing, integrate it into their persona, who they subjectively feel they are, what they subjectively feel defines them. I gave the example of otherkin in my previous section, but a person can also identify with what they do to make money, their university or school, their hobbies, the color of clothes they wear, personal projects that they've taken on. I say 'arbitrary' because it can be legitimately anything. Studies have shown that in some cases, some identities may be less healthy than other identities; if not physically-detrimental, mentally detrimental (being an otherkin, narcissism, identifying as your mental illness, and a million other examples.)
If someone feels like playing the guitar moves their soul, they might identify very strongly as a guitarist. If someone paints portraits of people and learns to appreciate the human condition on a deeper and more profound level, they might identify very strongly as an artist. If someone performs very satisfying work in a very prestigious industry, they might identify with their line of work. Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.
But nicolasstag, you said this was going to be a personal writeup?
Well, as the title would suggest, I don't really feel as though I have an identity, gender or otherwise. I used to, I think. I used to feel passionately about people, about the human condition, about art, music, God, religion, nature, beauty, literature, philosophy, everything — but as the years have gone on, everything has just sort of seeped out of me. I don't really passionately love people anymore. I don't hate them, I don't resent them, I just don't love them. I don't really passionately love writing anymore, or music, or art. I used to deeply love things, but now it's sort of a mild, monotone "oh that's neat". I'm not against people calling me a musician, an artist, fill in the blank with whatever. I'm not against people calling me the antithesis of all those things. I don't really care anymore. The only thing I'm making a conscious effort about is whether people see me as virtuous, I still try my damnest to be good to people — but I used to have such strong moral convictions, and I feel like those are slipping away too. The more the years go on the more everything lose momentum. It's easy to just not care about anything at all.
I don't really feel like I have a gender anymore. I used to feel very strongly that I was a man. I don't really feel like a man, I don't really feel like a woman. I don't have gender dysphoria. I just don't feel much of anything. The only thing I feel strongly anymore is just that everything about me is wrong. It all feels fake, somehow. My body, my consciousness, my life, my friends, my family, my relationships, my hobbies. It all just feels fundamentally wrong. But I've posted about that before, so I won't go off on that tangent again.
I don't really need a gender, I don't really need to identify with anything. I don't really see the point. I try to be virtuous. I see the point in that. Logically, virtue makes sense. I try to live a life filled with love for others, compassion, not living in excess, practicing self-moderation, not judging or condemning, not shaming people for their lifestyle, etc. I'm just hoping I don't lose momentum completely and become a walking purgatory, not feeling, not compassionate, simply existing. Only time will tell, I guess.