Today is my 45th birthday; just a bit chilling
the end to what is hopefully the first third
of my life.
Also because in our new house one of the bathrooms has
so many mirrors
that I can see myself from virtually
all sides. At the same time the combination of light
and mirror quality
in that room makes the images of
me so unflattering
that it can create a state of
Oh well. I show up better in the other bathroom's
mirror, but I get the point. I look pretty good for
my age, and have been pretty serious about being in
shape and eating well, blah blah blah.
The thing is, finding a way to improve and maintain
one's well-being without being obsessed or mechanical
or teidious about it. When I see myself having
these thoughts and making plans and so on, I feel like
just another package sliding down the same chute as
thousands of other identical packages, having the
thoughts/feelings/desires that occur like clockwork
to a person my age.
At the same time, I have to work on myself regardless
of how mass-produced it makes me feel.