Today is my 45th birthday; just a bit chilling to see the end to what is hopefully the first third of my life. Also because in our new house one of the bathrooms has so many mirrors that I can see myself from virtually all sides. At the same time the combination of light and mirror quality in that room makes the images of me so unflattering that it can create a state of positive dismay.

Oh well. I show up better in the other bathroom's mirror, but I get the point. I look pretty good for my age, and have been pretty serious about being in shape and eating well, blah blah blah.

The thing is, finding a way to improve and maintain one's well-being without being obsessed or mechanical or teidious about it. When I see myself having these thoughts and making plans and so on, I feel like just another package sliding down the same chute as thousands of other identical packages, having the thoughts/feelings/desires that occur like clockwork to a person my age.

At the same time, I have to work on myself regardless of how mass-produced it makes me feel.