Today is my 45th birthday;
just a bit chilling to see
the end to what is hopefully the
first third of my life.
Also because in our new house one of the bathrooms has
so many mirrors that I can see myself from virtually
all sides. At the same time the combination of
light
and mirror quality in that room makes the images of
me
so unflattering that it can create
a state of
positive dismay.
Oh well. I show up better in the other bathroom's
mirror, but I get the point. I look pretty good for
my age, and have been pretty serious about being in
shape and eating well, blah blah blah.
The thing is, finding a way to improve and maintain
one's well-being without being obsessed or mechanical
or teidious about it. When I see myself having
these thoughts and making plans and so on, I feel like
just another package sliding down the same chute as
thousands of other identical packages, having the
thoughts/feelings/desires that occur like clockwork
to a person my age.
At the same time, I have to work on myself regardless
of how mass-produced it makes me feel.