No, you can't cheat through me.

I'm sorry that your boyfriend is a dumb drunken jerk, but that's yours and his problem, not mine. I'd be willing to go out with you if you would only get yourself out of the abusive relationship you're in right now.

You can't get out of the relationship? Why? Oh, you love him... I see, but I can't see it reciprocated back to you. Even the rest of your friends can't see that. They too don't understand why you stay with him.

Why do you do this to yourself?! The feminist revolution happened a long time ago, or did it's affects somehow pass you up? Why are you being so spineless? Why do you insist on going out with that chauvinist pig?

But he'll change? That's what you said about your last boyfriend, and the boyfriend before that. They were all the same, and they all ended up the same. What makes you think that this one will be any different?

Ah, but you're the persistent type, aren't you? I never said to abandon him completely, just to not be in the relationship you're in with him any more. Of course he needs help, and I'd be glad to lend it myself, but you don't need to be his girlfriend to help him.

Please, though, whatever you do, stop being in this abusive relationship. I hate seeing you like this. I have stayed up many nights wondering whether you'd be alright in the morning and I need my sleep.