Thus the image of the Judgment
Preponderance of the superior Image
Thunder on the flying bird
brings the Image of the Small.

it is light in his back Still; So that he gives
Preponderance to strive upward,
The interference: grief!

Longitudinal studies show the mountain.
Thus the Image, Thunder. He
No longer
feels his bereavement
he no longer
feels his expenditures he gives
reverence.
there is light in a turpentine tunnel

Keeping his body. Small:
things may be the Image of the
Judgment to grief. Small: things may be done;
great things may be done. The image of the image To
strive upward, it is not to permit his people.

To go beyond his bereavement he
gives preponderance of the Image
of the Judgment interference;
radio And flow in
which it is not
he will be the interference;
feels his courtyard conduct
let no blame. The ebb And flow
in bereavement he gives
Great things
may be the message.

The image of the image of the image of the Image of
Preponderance to remain below.
let me minimize the interference.
we are all i-ching.
I have to go to a wedding today.

I despise weddings. I really do. All the pomp and bullshit and lots of people pretending to like each other because they happen to inhabit the same gene pool, or soon will.

Bah humbug.

It gets better though: I’m the best man.

It means I’ll be a graviton of attention. I've also been informed that I have to make the toast and give a speech.

Oh joy.

But I am a romantic at heart, and love is another matter.

So I composed a speech, and thought I’d run it by E2 to see what you thought. Let's say upvotes means it’s good and downvotes means I should flee the banquet hall when I'm done.

The Toast

*Stands up and begins tapping his wine-glass with a fork*

Love. That’s why we’re all here today, right? Love. Beyond the tuxes and gowns, the prime rib dinners and glasses of merlot, the balloons and streamers, the cake, the general pageantry and all the hoopla. Love. It all comes down to a boy”

*motions toward groom*

“and a girl”

*motions toward bride*

“looking into each other’s eyes and promising not to kill each other for as long as they both shall live.”

*pause for laugh* (and prays they find this funny)

The ancient Greeks made up a story to describe love. They said that in the beginning there wasn’t such a thing as men and women. Humans were all one gender, with four legs and four arms and four eyes and two mouths and two noses. But they grew arrogant and offended the gods. So Zeus cleft them in half, creating two creatures out of one – and one half became a man and the other half became a woman. Then he scattered them all over the world, so that they'd be forced to spend the rest of their lives searching for their other lost half. And this is what love is. It’s when these two halves finally find each other, and they’re so happy, so blissfully overjoyed, that they cling to each other tightly, never letting go, and never, ever wanting to be apart again.

So please, raise your glasses, and drink to these two lost halves finally finding each other, and joining into one.”

*drink*

Another of those days when I come avisiting to this place that brings fond memories. Though it is a bit sad to see what klaproth is doing to some of my older blabbings.

I managed to clear up all the outstanding messages regarding some of my writeups from ages ago, including E2 Caste System or Cool Noders, Think, E2 URL Policy and a few others I forget to archive.

And of course, update my home node to confirm the fact that I find myself doing less noding here, but more editing on ODP or even Wikipedia. However, feel free to ICQ or email me if something great is happening and I really should rush back here. ;-}

And thus ends one of the most wonderful chapters of my life so far. A five year period, marked with all of the most wonderful moments of my life so far over the first four... And the final lonely year, desperately working to patch the cracks of problems that were emerging and spreading across the foundation.

I've finally come to terms with it. I'm losing my family. My wife is leaving me. We're negotiating a divorce I never wanted, and she's leaving and taking my beautiful son away from me... It's the most helpless feeling I've ever felt. She just fell out of love with me... I'm not sure I understand how that happened, even now. I know I will never enter another serious relationship lightly. Nothing involving any commitment will happen until at least five intimate and perfect years with someone have passed, if ever... And I do mean perfect. Because I had three perfect years with my wife... ex-wife... I have the hardest time getting in the habit of saying that.

I was so sure she was "the one", and I've never been more passionate about, proud of, or in love with another person. I suppose sometimes someone can be the perfect person for you, when you're not the perfect person for them.

In a sleeping state early this morning I found that I only had the one person on my mind. Do I have a good reason? No. There should be no problem here, but due to my lack of coherent thinking, a problem remains.

It's not a romantic thing, because there is no romance (or even interest in it).

It's not a friendship thing, because friendships are not supposed to be complicated.

I spent hours this week just pondering over what everything meant. I got all of the little things that she did to me over a period of three days and developed a conclusion as to how she was thinking about me.

Dialogue in a rare (we never annoy each other) confrontation:
Me: "Sorry again, but is it anything I've done? I feel like I've wronged you for some reason."
Her: "No, no. In fact, this has nothing to do with you at all."
Me "Then you have no excuse for doing this to me."

Ironically, the only question I had after that was "what did I do to deserve this?"

I have quite a few solutions to an unanswerable problem.

She tells me I make it worse by comforting her, and she doesn't need that. I can't help but do it, she looks like she is in pain.

All I have to do is wait for her to come to me. But why should I hang on someone else's leisure?

And besides, something like this shouldn't break my heart like it has. But shouldn't a good friend realise she is hurting me?

I think my problem is that I am in too deep. I expect way too much of our friendship.

I am coming to the conclusion that Male/female friendships can be complicated sometimes (if only for one party; me).

I, like I always do, am overlooking the good things.

She just gives me bits of her food. For nothing. It is nice to know that I have someone that makes me want to smile.

It is horrible to think that after this long, she is getting tired of my shit.

It is hard to believe that one week ago to the day, she had made me the happiest person in the world.

I have gone through so much pain about this the past week, I can't put past events in to a chronological order... it is honestly like one big nightmare. And I am still fretting about it.

sigh

I’ve decided that my trial needs to be done in a different genre. I’m tired of this courtroom drama business. I want my trial to be a musical.

Song about jury selection, sung by attorneys. The song will be about the necessity of being fair, but also about selecting jurors that will convict or acquit as the attorney desires. Powermad section by prosecutor about how guilt is guaranteed, with counterpoint by defense about the presumption of innocence as well as the fact of innocence.

Evidence should be set up in a song and dance format. Think the West Side Story encounters between the Jets and the Sharks for the video of the police confrontations with the protesters, with people not involved not singing or dancing, or doing it very differently.

Song by witnesses about their testimony being structured by attorneys. Main theme is that witnesses want to tell the story their way, with counterpoint by attorneys saying "that’s not what I’m asking you" and a chorus by everyone else saying how much faster the case would go if the witnesses would just answer the questions posed.

Song by the court staff about the ridiculousness of the case, with a section by court reporters singing how they don’t want to record it.

Song about how the judge favors the prosecutor in objections and evidence, sung by attorneys. The song will end with the defense wondering what the judge is thinking, which leads into the next number.

Fantasy dance number by the judge about how he’s not paying attention and really just wants to be dancing. This will involve the judge getting up on the bench, lifting his robe, and doing a dance that involves kicking. I’m thinking "Singing in the Rain" for this.

Song by police witnesses about how they’re more credible than civilians. Start out with the protect and serve theme, move towards police state/big brother themes.

Sotto voce dance number by the defendants about how it’s like we’re not here most of the time, how everyone is being very casual about something that’s going to affect the rest of our lives, how we’re talked about like we’re not people, and how we’re lumped together but we don’t even know each other.

Reprise of guilt/innocence themes introduced in the jury selection song.

Song by the jury about confusion.

Song by everyone about how boring the case is, with a section wherein the prosecutor complains loudly and is countered by the defense saying that he could drop the charges at any time. This should be a long song, sung mostly by jurors but also by everyone else, and should again feature the dancing judge. This should also have a variation on the guilty theme by the prosecutor in which he loses his temper, and talks about how he’s just doing his job. Backups by everyone else singing about what a scary freak he is.

Jury deliberation song.

Next: May 13, 2002.
Previous: May 3, 2002.

I drove down to the school in my Toyota Camry this morning, and as I stepped out of my car, a girl passing by stopped for a second and looked at the front of my car for a little bit, then said "hey, that's clever!" "What's clever?" I said, wondering what's so interesting about the front of my car. "The license plate, it's in hexidecimal!" Impressed, but mostly confused, I looked at the front of my car. The license plate read:

 --------------
|   VIRGINIA   |
|   VO 56 4F   |
 --------------

I had never seen that before in my life.

I figured that perhaps my father had renewed my vehicle registration for me and in the process got new plates for my car. However, I remained confused about what it meant. I quickly tried to decipher the numbers from hexidecimal to decimal.

56... that's 80 + 6 = 86... ????
4F... that's 64 + 15 = 79...????

"86 79?" I said out loud. She said, "Yeah. Are you a Compsci major?" I continued trying to decipher the meaning of "VO 86 79." I said, "Yeah. Hey how did you know it was in hexa--" "Nice to meet you, I'm Katie." She extended her hand and we shook hands. "I'm late for class, I'd better get going," she said.

I watched dazed and confused as she disappeared around the corner.

Later on that day I asked my father about the license plate. Turns out "56" and "4F" are hexidecimal ASCII values for "V" and "O". So it reads "VO V O". How dull.

I hope I meet that girl again sometime.

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