It is grey outside just like it is grey inside. I am standing on a plateau of blandness and a good shaking is in order. I need to do so many thing its hard to lay them all out in orderly fashion and know where to begin, but I suppose the likely thing to do would be to get a goddamn job.

I have that teetering feeling cresting like I could slip. If I go too far then it's impossible to come back by myself. I am almost where I was when i found myself on "joy enhancers". It helped, It really did, but aren't I stronger than that now? What kind of evolved person am I that I can't pull myself up by my own damn bootstraps?

I been up all night and i might sleep all day. Catch a dream just right and let it slip awayyyyy.....*

I'm working on it, i really am. Maybe today will be the day. Maybe I wll shake off that overslept headache and move myself forward instead of seeping into stagnation or worse, rolling bakwards into old self depracating habits.

* "Up All Night", Counting Crows