I am in the hospital cafeteria. Dr. C is there. He started working here two weeks before me, 18 years ago. Something has come up about reputation. We are disagreeing.

"Here," he says. "Look."

On the wall by the cafeteria door is a single spaced two page write up about me. Clearly not complimentary. Warning staff.

I am furious and hurt. "I am taking it."

"I will stop you if you try." says Dr. C.

I am sure he will try. Or call hospital security. If it's posted here, it's in multiple places. And I will get a copy. Then I will at long last be able to sue their asses, after Dr. P said to me back in 2009, "I heard about you in a meeting."

I wake angry.

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The church sermon yesterday was about the buddhist attachments that keep us from being enlightened. Anger, for one. I seem to have an issue with that. However, at times it may be appropriate to be on the defensive. I did not go to the church because my daughter was home from college for just one night. I hung around her. She read to me from her advanced Unix text, completely incomprehensible definitions. She has four exams next week. She was spending about three hours per chapter and starting to make headway.

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We walked on the beach on Saturday and Sunday. I am still trying to shake the vestiges of my nasty cold. And then catch up in clinic. I dropped her at the ferry at 3 pm yesterday. I came home and lay down on the couch and slept... until 7 pm. I got up and ate some yogurt with blueberries and some almonds. Brushed teeth. Went to bed. By 9 pm I was out again and slept until 4:30.

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Back to clinic today.

And I think I need time to hit my heavy bag. It will have to be between clinic and chorus. Concert in two weeks, three more rehearsals, one tonight. Oh, and maybe a dress rehearsal too. My brain plays parts of the music or the whole score continuously. Except when it plays other things*...


*why a military march when I am on the beach with my daughter?