I had a vasectomy at the age of 32. Neither my partner nor I have the desire to breed and she wants to come off the pill soon so this is seen as a really sensible solution.
The vasectomy was done at a private clinic. When I got there a nurse asked me a few questions about myself to ascertain whether I was really serious about doing this, then i was sent downstairs to await the cut.
I felt strangely cold about the entire thing at this point, mainly because I guess I had made the decision to do this some time ago and partly because this is way I deal with stress. A short time later another nurse escorted me to a small anteroom between the theater and the waiting room where i removed my shoes and trousers and then entered the operating theater. The most disturbing thing about the place was the twee photos of pairs of round fruit with eyes and mouths on. The kiwifruit couple totally did my head in.
The nurse asked me to get up on the table and draw my underwear down around my knees which i did. The doctor asked me to grip my knees together, presumably to get a bit a push up action going then he massaged the scrotum trying to find the vas deferens. He then injected anesthetic which was supposed to be the most painful part of the process, this was a only a mild stinging sensation.
All this time I was staring at the ceiling panels, it would have been nice to have some visual stimulation up there, but the nurse seemed to be there to be a sort of head coach and engaged me in stuck lift grade conversation about holidays and other small talk. I was really grateful for this as the operation although not painful, was definitely uncomfortable and at one point the doctor had to stop to inject a little more local when the cauterising machine induced a yelp from me.
The process is little more than severing both vas and cauterising them but as the cut is offset and small, the act of working out which tube is which and getting them both out and severed is quite aggressive to the scrotum as I was to find out later.
The whole process took about 15 minutes (at a guess). Afterward i was taken back to the anteroom where I put my pants and shoes back on. I sat down in a waiting room and drank a mediocre cup of tea, ate some individually wrapped cookies, and listened to bad piped music which just seemed to accent the whole sterility of the situation.
I don't know what I was expecting, a certificate maybe?.
It didn't take long before I felt ready to leave so I settled the bill, hopped into a taxi and caught a train home where the trouble started.
I had to take a shit and was forced to dangle myself over the seat up bowl to avoid stressing the groin region during the act. I lay down to try and sleep it all away but my whole groin was throbbing and painful. My underwear which I was supposed to wear for the next two days continuously (which worried me as what would happen if I was in a accident) seemed overtight and a feeling of claustrophobia was enveloping me.
The next hour or two as the anesthetic wore off totally was about about the most painful experience of my life. The most accurate description I can provide is like the depths of flu fever (nausea, sweating, etc) combined with feeling that someone had put my balls in a vice.
Things got slowly better and by the end of afternoon my groin had settled down to a mild throbbing pain. The hole which isn't stitched collapsed to a circular wound about 3mm in diameter and only bled slightly over the next 24 hours. I was able to go to work the next day without any huge discomfort as I have a mainly desk job.
The amount of bruising and swelling amazed me, my left testicle swelled up to about the size of a pool ball and bruising spread around the entire scrotum and a little way up the shaft of my penis. It hurt to take a shit or pee for the next few days but that was about the extent of of the ongoing pain. I was able to wank the day after and sex was restricted to a position which didn't put pressure on the area. The bruising had completely gone in about 14 days and the hole healed shortly after
My 12 weekly sperm test is due in a couple of weeks and im hoping like hell that the process worked as the process was unpleasant enough that Im not sure I want do it again, but as the clinic has a good reputation im fairly sure that it wont be necessary.