I arrived back at work today to find that I'd been moved next to teacher!
Yes, during my two week absence from work, a strategic re-shuffle of the office has found me situated between my two immediate bosses in the 'no-fun' zone.
The reason for the move has been passed off as nothing more than 'for a bit of a change'. I happen to suspect however that my 'couldn't really care less' attitude may have something to do with it.
The thing is that I work as an advertising rate negotiator for a popular daily broadsheet in the UK (the one not owned by Rupert Murdoch) and I really hate it!. Fortunately (or unfortunately whichever way you look at it) I happen to be rather good at the job and the fact that I get my work done with consumate ease and minimum effort so there is no reason to get rid of me. Unfortunately, I am unable to look interested in any way in what I do and however hard I try I cannot muster the enthusiasm that is expected of me at all times.
This is why I now find myself in this particularly gruesome 'triangular crossfire' of upper and middle management - with the express intention of demoralising me to the extent that I either;
a) Somehow become the worlds most enthusiastic 'team player' the world has ever seen
b) Resign, a broken man.
Furthermore, the office move has positioned me too far away from any of the PC's for me to node as frequently as I'd like (yes, even though my company makes over $1 Billion a year, we are still rationed to one PC per four workers!!!!!!!).
To pour salt into the wound already inflicted by having to come back to work after a two week absence I awoke to find that my suit trousers are feeling a little more snug than I'd like after my 2 week booze and fast-food sabbatical, occasioning me to drive to work with my troos undone and belt unbuckled feeling like the fattest man alive.
Add to this, the tearful departure at Heathrow airport between myself and my best friend and former SO who has flown to the other side of the world for a rather longer sabbatical, it all makes for a very glum young lioncub.