I woke up late this morning after a long night of chitchat with my girlfriend. We had an extremely talkative night last night. I told her all about my medical mishaps, which included, but was not limited to the following.
  • The incident when the 9 foot python named Huggie decided to bite me instead of the rat in my seventh grade science class.
  • The incident when my dad and I were at the end of a quarter mile pier, fishing. I reeled in a small catfish, which I was somewhat scared to touch, due to the bacteria ridden spines protruding all over its body. Before I knew it, the catfish had managed to free itself from the hook and flopped onto my left knee. What I am guessing is the dorsal fin of this catfish, stabbed deep into my knee, sticking there; and flopping. It took my dad two pulls and a fin through the thumb before we could get that fish back into the ocean.
  • The incident when I ran across the living room carpet, sliding in my socks into a toothpick. My dad pulled it out with pliers.
  • The incident when my family and some friends were having a picnic in the woods. My dad loaded a bunch of the kids into the back of a truck, for a nice drive to a near by lake. One of my friends decided to give me a little shove (I am told that she had a crush on me and this was her way of letting me know). I flew out of the truck head first into a deep ditch. I broke and dislocated my arm.

Despite the graphic nature of my detailed discussion about my medical mishaps, she appreciated the information and honesty.