My mailbox at work had been moved over one, which threw me off, but I realized it had been done to make room for a box for the new guy, who was a cutie, so it was ok. The boxes were like on the back of stupid John Grisham’s stupid new novel. I stole change from people’s mailboxes. The new guy ran in, upset. I just want to go home and never go outside again. He’d been having a terrible day and then gone outside to have a car accident happen right in front of him. The girl’s green car had jumped the curb and smacked into another car and scared him to death. I agreed with the wanting to go back home part, and walked him inside, but it wasn’t the store, it was home. He was happy, jumpy, and wanted to talk about an article I hadn’t read, so he went upstairs to lie down while I read it. I couldn’t read, lay draped on the stairs thinking of him. My bra was black with sparkles.
The bad men reappeared, sneaking through the house. I knew not to say anything. They saw me, I saw them – the code of fear/silence kept me still. They snuck away. He came back downstairs, except he was edebroux now. I was able to communicate everything to her with a single gesture. She grabbed a – something – and held it like a baseball bat, ready to attack. I hadn’t even thought about defending myself – I’d assumed they were just here to steal, not hurt us. The bookshelf next to me had candlesticks on it, but nothing heavy, nothing I could grip comfortably. I picked up a large kitchen spoon and waited.
They came back, noisy now that they had found what they were after. They were bitter about it, sarcastic - the $8000 you stole from us! Oh, is that all, edebroux and I said to each other with our eyes, and lowered our weapons. The men left through the front door.
Gillian Anderson/Helen Hunt followed the men out. Beautiful coiffed 40s hair. She was polite, flirtatious with the leader, who was crazy and said she “triggered” him. He wanted to kiss her and showed it by not being able to stop whistling. He already loved her deeply. George from Seinfeld’s parents were just getting home from vacation. They were coming in as the men were leaving. Who are all these people? still happy from their trip, trusting us to have had nice men over. The leader of the men grabbed George’s mother and slapped her on the ass and would not stop slapping, hooting. His focus safely removed from Gillian/Helen, I was relieved.