fall, fell fallen crashing 
asleep dizzy (spinning?)

drunk and
daring (dying?)

stop count laugh smile walk 

             head-lowered-longing

i would walk to the center of your street and hold arms at sides, spin, and spin and watch the world take on nothingness, blurred shape vague form, stopped just then i kept.. going and, fell. hard. fast. slowly sprawled legs aching, tiny rocks pushed into tender skin. blood red gray covered faint scent.. sent? yes, i sent for you..

i kept my tears warm for you.. late again, you screamed, late again into my broken ear. i didn't hear you but i knew.
            breathing awake, sleeping alive i am
             only in dreams as you are only in life
              i asked for your hands and you gave me arms
thank you.
                    slashing morose thought

he told me to stop
that i would never understand and so
i thought of grabbing loose clothing
holding on or.. leaving
                                          i am.