Is it just a girl thing that there is a general distaste for the term "fucking" when it comes to sexual intercourse? Granted, it's just a word and it's the relationship and the deed that count, but UGH. There are several degrees of coitus, and f-ing is only one of them. There is the ever sappy romance novel term used by suave Don Juans with plastic combs in their back pockets: Let's make love, punkin. I love your feathered bangs and your tight pants. There is the clinical, almost gynecological having sex - that term to me conjures up an image of mechanics, stirrups, Jeremy Irons for some odd reason. Fucking is for all fours and gritted teeth. It certainly has its place, no doubt about it. The problem is that I can't tell loverboy what I want if I can't figure out a way to vocalize it. I want the raw intensity of fucking. But I don't always want that intensity through the flesh of my body. I want it in a look while we're connected at our vulnerable parts - hips, eyes, and lips included. I don't want Al Green in the background while he makes a feeble, yet earnest attempt at giving me some Harlequin romance bullshit. What is the phrase for the happy medium? How can you tell someone without looking like a total dufus that you want them to combine that mad hyena with a sensitive 80s guy mullet for you?