Welcome to the home of circular logic.
I feel pretty qualified to speak to this issue because I used to belong to this club, but now I do not.

point 1: a man/boy becomes interested in a woman
point 2: he decides the woman is smart, talented, funny and beautiful and he wants to date her.
point 3- this may or may not be an accurate description of the person she is, since he has not actually dated her.
point 4- woman mentioned above is dating a guy that man #1 thinks is selfish and mean spirited (asshole).
point 5- man #1 tells woman that she is "better than that" and deserves better (i.e. -himself). She decides that she disagrees, prefers man #2
Now is man 1 saying he prefers this wonderful woman, despite what he considers her terrible judgment? Is he arguing that despite how she acts and how she prefers to be treated, she is the one for him? Would she just "go and change" once she is with him and is "appreciated"?

That logic is the same logic used to argue her away from him.. ??

In summary: Does either sex want to be with a person who is interested in self abusive relationships? Is that healthy to anyone?
If you are attractive to someone that masochistic, look in the mirror, do you want your own fuzzy doormat?