Oh, say now; would ya like a little recipe for the kids when they're in a Nazi frame of mind, and you don't have a whole lot of time to get the gas nozzles warmed up?

Well, here ya go, OK?


Get a pound and a half of ground chuck. Cut up an onion and a couple of cloves of garlic. Throw all that in the pan and cook it 'til the evil Jewish demon is (sorry... the meat) is cooked enough.

Drain the grease. (Also extract any gold fillings.)

Now, throw in a can of Campbell's Cream of Mushroom Soup and a half cup or so of white cooking wine. (Make sure it's not a French surrender whine wine.)

You need to put some salt in there, too. Sea salt is good. (Unless it's salt from that damned beach at Normandy. Guten tag? I'll tag your ass, Yankee!) Add some ground pepper, too.

When this has simmered for an hour or so, add the dairy products. An 8 oz. container of Sour Cream ("sour," damn right we're sour!) and a cup of milk, depending on how "liquid" you wish the dish to be.

Cook some nice noodles. (I prefer the little bow tie ones that remind me of Neville Chamberlain.) Do not overcook!

Serve the stroganoff on top of a bed of noodles, and (I swear to Mein Gott en Himmel) the perfect compliment to this meal is a can of shredded sour kraut.