I was just informed by a sympathetic government agent that I was born two years before my birth. Apparently social security has my date of birth as 9/13/73. I now need to go prove to them that I was in fact born in 1975.

It all started two months ago when I lost my license. I went to the DMV to get a replacement. Three weeks later I got a notice in the mail informing me that my social security number does not match my social security number. Examining the document, I noticed that two numbers had been transposed. Grumbling at the carelessness of a DMV employee, I returned armed with my passport and social security card. The brilliant agent commented that it looked like the numbers just got transposed.

Today I received another notice, this time with the correct social security number, name and birth date. Again, it informed me that my application for a new driver’s license was being denied because the social security number did not match the name and/or date of birth. I called social security, and was informed that according to their records I was born in 1973.

My roommate said they could at least have made me younger, but her boyfriend countered with the advantages of being older.

“Maybe you should take the older date, then people will say how you look years younger.”

It was then that I realized just how easy it would be to claim an entirely different year of birth. All I needed to do was fill out this verification form and send it to the DMV. They’d contact social security and the records would match. From there it would be easy, I’d have a driver’s license stating that I was born in 1973, and that’s what everyone else goes by. Hmmm…maybe if I were nineteen, there’d be some motivation…I think I’ll settle for one blissful day of being older than my sister.