Some days I'm almost able to pretend that I am normal... Then others, my whole world comes crashing down around me. Today has only existed for an hour, and I'm already struggling to hold on to the hope that life can be good again.

Today I managed to hurt a dear friend. One irrational outburst from me, and I am scared that I may have caused irreparable damage. You'd think that I'd be used to it by now. I've been this way six years... Six years of manic depression, and I still rarely notice my mood slipping, until it's way to late and I've already said something I regret. Words just slide out of my mouth… There is no way a rational thought process could be connected to those words.

It's come to the stage where a simple 'I'm sorry' isn't enough. Nothing can take back the hurt. And so I just hold onto that faint glimmer of hope... That things will get better... That it won't happen another time... That the depression will fade out of existence, never to be seen again.