I had an exam today. Or rather, I SHOULD have had an exam today. Instead, I retreated into my depressed, ignorant state and stayed at home, sleeping for most of the day. I'm happy when I sleep.
mellamaphone had things to do at Uni today, so she got me some copies of lecture notes I HOPE I will use to prepare for Friday's exam. When she got home she got angry at me for still being in bed (had she not been so pleased about her upcoming job interview things could have been a lot scarier). My lack of activity is really frustrating for her and jt...nothing they do can get me out of bed, to Uni, and in a happy state. I'm not trying to disappoint them by failing, but it's probably going to happen. Eh.
We went to the walk-in Doctors office in the afternoon specifically to get a Doctors Certificate. You need one to give as a reason for non-attendance at an exam. I think he must be used to desperate Uni students shuffling in with fake colds and infections around this time, because after a few perfunctory questions he had his pad of paper in hand, writing that I had a 'severe viral infection'. He explained it was so I didn't have to tell my lecturers and faculty what was really wrong. That was nice, though given the amount of times I've used 'I have clinical depression - here, look at this letter' this year as a reason for a missed assignment...it probably wouldn't matter.
Him: So, what can I help you with?
Me: Well...um...(I hate going to a Doctor..I need to have a plan for what to say)
my sister brought me here because she was worried. I had an exam today and missed it because I kind of freaked out.
Him: Ah...what subject?
Him:Yes...what subject did you miss the exam for?
I get confused, and wonder if the University
has provided all the Doctors with a list of subjects they aren't allowed to interfere with. I answer meekly 'English?'More bizarre, seemingly irrelevant questions follow. I manage to tell him my history of depression
( and what a long, fun history it is ), and use the words ' panic attack
' somewhere in the conversation. That's all he needed to hear.
Him: Panic attacks? That would be part of the problem you had today.
He starts to write something else. What course does your sister do?...Ah, journalism. Is she honest?....Ha ha ha - she won't do well at that then.
I giggle, say 'I think she'll do well', and he pushed another bit of paper at me. It was a prescription for Oxazepam
, a tranquilizer
This has unnerved me. I don't know why. Maybe because the doctor gave me it out of nowhere, knowing very little about me or what my problem actually was.His incompetence is a little scary. Possibly I feel weird about it because I don't know if I can be trusted with them. In any case, I should get over it and not be so shook up about it (and not feel the need to day log it). I've been on medication for ages; why does this bother me so much?
mellamaphone won't let me fill the prescription anyway. She doesn't like it either.