Today's my birthday
. I'm 22.
Feels about the same. I'm still short and grossly overweight, and still keep telling myself I have to do something about the latter while stuffing fatty foods down my throat. Still a cynical atheist
. Still depressed, or at least very unhappy. Still periodically go on crying jags for no discernible reason. Still a loner
, to some extent due to the fact that I simply never learned how to make friends. Still a virgin
Still telling total strangers more than they would ever want to know about me.
Oh, there is one new thing. As of tomorrow, I'll no longer have medical insurance
The only present I got was a copy of Metroid: Zero Mission
from my brother. He's living in Las Vegas
, so he mailed it and it came a few days ago. I've already beaten it.
My parents can't afford to get either of us anything; money is tight. (Of course, it might not be so tight if they hadn't made foolish purchases - like, say, a $3000 big-screen TV.) They told me they'd make up for it at Hannukah
. Frankly, I don't really care about presents, but they just reminded me that I'm going to spend another year pretending at religiosity, however half-heartedly. And I'm tired of it, desperately tired. But I don't trust them. For all their "tolerance", they almost disowned my brother when he came out of the closet
. It's just a good thing my parents aren't Orthodox
Jews or Pentecostal
s or something.
A few days ago I ran into a friend (of sorts) that I hadn't seen since high school
. He's an Iranian
immigrant; I believe his family was accepted as political refugees - they're Baha'i
, which makes them a prime target for persecution in their homeland. We talked for a while, and traded cell phone
numbers and email address
es. I'd like to stay in contact with him, but something tells me we'll just drift again. Because that's been the way of every friendship I've ever had.
I think I need to stop now. This is getting depressing, even for me.