The Internet is silly, and capitalism rules!

About three weeks ago, my girlfriend and I discovered the most hilarious and ingenius way to get rich. We spent a whole night brainstorming about ways that she could fix a little problem she was having about feeling unsatisfied and underpaid at her job. We discussed some serious and practical ideas at first, of course. But then we just started having fun and began joking around. But one of the ideas we kidded about just seemed so devilishly simple and good that we just had to try it. There happen to be a lot of guys who enjoy buying girls' used panties on the Internet, so we decided to try profitting from that. And it's just so astonishingly effective!

The thought of putting up a real photo of my girlfriend and actually selling her authentically used panties was just too creepy for us. Your mileage may vary. But here are some guidelines for those of you at home who want to join in and get your share of all the wonderful wealth that is to be made in this lucrative used panties trade. Just get a free website somewhere using a free webmail account. Get a P.O. box at your local post office, also. Then throw up a quick and dirty website with some random girls' photos. Actually, a totally random girls' photos isn't as fun. Trust me on this: it's very therapeutic to use the photos of an ex girlfriend! Make up a story explaining why she's selling her underwear, and include instructions on how to order them. We had our customers send self addressed stamped envelopes with $20 checks to our P.O. box. And we made up a story about a young co-ed struggling to pay her college tuition, and who heard from her best friend that in certain cultures men value the used panties of a virgin girl such as herself as good luck charms. When your webpage is done and you're all set up, post a few ads to random pornographic newsgroups and then just wait for the money.

Within days we began receiving self addressed, stamped envelopes in our P.O. box along with the required $20 checks from random guys. To complete the transactions, we weren't about to use anything creepy like actual, used panties that my girlfriend might have worn. Instead we took turns blowing our noses into some cheap $1 panties we purchased from Wal-Mart. After adding a spritz of perfume to each one and sealing it in a Zip-Loc bag for freshness, we put them into their envelopes and shipped them out to their proud new owners. This totally works, and it's just too cool. We just packaged up our one-hundredth pair giving us a total profit of $1900 so far in just three weeks' time. Capitalism sure is sweet.