It's something that seems to happen in many
relationships. The whole
sex thing is getting
stale, going wrong or it's just plain
worrying one person or the other. But talking about it?
Consider this, if it doesn't feel good or it doesn't feel good enough then how else will your partner find out?
- They should know me and my body well enough
Well, they obviously don't. Do you care for them enough to find out why not?
- They aren't being attentive enough if they don't notice how I feel.
Maybe, just maybe, they are to busy worrying about why you seem so distant to think it through properly. Did you notice they were nervous? Or perhaps they aren't the kind of person who understands sexuality enough to pick up on that kind of thing. If they are inexperienced, for instance, that may be the root of the problem. Do you care for them enough to help them and you through it?
- They stop when I haven't even started.
Try slowing the whole thing down, focus on exploration. Do you care for them enough to take YOUR time?
- I don't want to talk to my partner about things like that
If you don't discuss things like this and there are problems (and in any long enough relationship there will always be some problems) then you do your partner a diservice as well as yourself. If they love you and you are unhappy sexually it's a big drop in the bucket of temptation. You may find yourseld attracted to someone else with whom the sex might be better. Don't you think you should give them a chance?
- I CAN'T talk to my partner about that, I'm too embarassed.
OR
- I can't talk to my partner about that, they aren't the type who would listen
Funny that, that you can be comfortable enough with someone to have sex but not enough just to discuss it. Are you with the right person?