Not currently available at Sharper Image
The relationship beeper has two functions and can be set to either cut and run or avert dumping modes.
In the first mode, the beeper is set to C/R and will intiate a flashing Red light when your SO is giving off vibes of annoying habits and cloying neediness that you are unable to detect (although your friends have surely informed you of this already). The manual will instruct you to run like the wind when this light is activated.
In the second function, the beeper picks up on the disinterest/annoyance of your soon to be ex-SO and perceives the impending break up long before you will see it coming. It may spare you the pain and embarrassment of the Dear John letter, or the We need to have a talk talk. It will quietly vibrate (without alerting your soon to be EX)- and give you advance notice.
Yes, I wish I had one of these five years ago.