Really, this node could be simplified enormously:
Luke's always been somewhat pouty. It would be very easy for him to slip into a little lisp and sum up his experiences like this:
Daddy didn't want me to play with my lightsaber, Daddy wanted me to play with his lightsaber. When he caught me playing with my own 'saber (which really was ... duh! ... his from a long time ago) he got so mad he cut off my hand!!! Then he took me to some old troll's apartment to try and get me to play with the troll's lightsaber, too (though the troll's lightsaber was really something artificial, and looked like lavender lightning)! But in the end, I won, because the dashing straight guy, my sister, and some swashbuckler finally got tired of my closet issues and blew up the second Death Star all by themselves. In the meantime, I convinced Daddy that the old troll was simply too gross and too old to be pretty anymore, and so he needed to die, though I nearly had to kill Daddy to make him realize this. (Daddy's always had issues with internalized homophobia, you know ... I mean, really, would you choose a drag queen over a samauri stud??) Daddy realized he loved me more than his troll boyfriend and killed him...then he died.
He didn't give me his lightsaber, either. Damn you, Daddy!