I saw Zack again. He works at this
tattoo parlor I make a point to pass on my way to buy cigarettes every evening. Actually, the parlor isn't
on the way at all, but I figure that is the only way I get to
see him. He and his wife Angie have set themselves apart from our shared
social circle for a while now, for reasons I do not understand. And so now there is a respecting of the bounderies that have been set on one side.
I could never talk to Zack much even when we were in the same social circle, since he is married and I am not. It's a respect thing in general, but I'm sure I kept the barrier taut because I was also attracted to him. Angie had become, briefly, one of my closest female friends before she had estranged herself from Zack's family and most of their mutual friends.
There are remnants. Zack and Angie bought my old car and I still see it zooming around from time to time. The rings I wear every day were bought from Angie's curio shop. One of my favorite pairs of shoes were bought by Angie for my last birthday, almost a year ago now. There are two crystals strung on copper wire that hang outside my door that Angie made for me in a creative burst.
I guess that's the same for every failed friendship, bits and pieces get left behind, or you keep them for reasons that only make sense to you in conversation. And while they are over, I can't seem to stop reflecting on them, can't stop returning to them at a loss as to what to say. And yet I still try to talk it out; I can't seem to shut up about it.