Sorry, typing this while im still woozy from drugs/painkillers from my wisdom teeth operation so i just want to get my thoughts out there.
Recently I travelled to New York City to visit my dad after not seeing him for a year and a half. Arriving at his house on Staten Island I was greeted by his loving (although biting), dog and his two cats that always want to sit on me or my laptop when I'm working on photoshop.
One of the first things my Dad said to me when we got time to sit together was that he was "sorry" for not being apart of my life enough, and while I understand its normal for someone to say this to their kid after being seperated from them for a while he also added the phrase "you have every right to be mad at me." I never thought about deeply until seeing my Uncle (his brother) later in the week and asking his thoughts about that statement. From my Uncle, I learned that my dad has been blaming himself and putting him self down severly because he hasnt been able to see me or my brother. This has left me somewhat saddened after leaving New York because although I do have "every right to be mad" as my dad always says, I've never felt the need nor desire to get angry at my Dad. I dont really know how to end this or what to say as a message to make this use of the Blame node seem worth reading but I guess I'll leave this with a statement:
Blaming oneself for mistakes you have made is understandable. Blaming oneself for mistakes that you have already made efforts to prevent from repeating is nonsense.
Gonna get some rest my mouth feels like a medium-rare steak right now since all I can feel is the tenderness of it on my finger.