Call from 908-285-xxxx

My cell phone does not have a caller ID that you have to pay for.  If a person with a number not in my contacts calls me, only the number is displayed, so it's a mystery who is on the other side of the phone connection.  At the time, I was sitting with my no-longer-in-touch-with girlfriend in a coffeeshop, over a slice of pecan pie and tea.  My phone rings, and I see a 908 area code, which means someone from New Jersey

I pick up the phone and ask in my best neutral voice, "Hello?".

The girl on the other side says, in quite a suggestive way, "Hey, what's up?".  Now I am utterly confused.  This is someone who thinks she knows who she is talking to, and I have no idea who I am talking to and she sounds very interested.  I might have taken advantage of this if that person I am no longer in touch with was not so physically satisfying.

Alas, I intend to make the situation a little bit better by making it slightly less awkward, and reply, "Nothing", then a pause, "Who is this?".

In a perfect world, the girl would say her name, and we would both go on our merry ways, living our lives.  However, we do not live in such a world, exemplified by her disconcerting and 'are you shitting me' response, "What?", as if I insulted her without really knowing her.

"I think you dialed the wrong number", I reply, in an attempt to lend some knowledge to the situation so that at least one of us can make an informed decision

Instead she demands, "Who is this?".  Finally, she may know that who she is talking to is not who she wants to talk to.

I intend to take the higher road and answer her question directly, "This is Rob censored".  I ask my question again, "Who are you?", hoping to know if I am indeed talking to someone I know and forgetting something important.

She responds, "I'm sorry", sounding genuinely apologetic.  We exchange our conversation closing words, and I hang up the phone, knowing that I will never hear from this person again.

Call ended

Second call from 908-285-xxxx, only a few minutes later

Well butter my dick, here is the same number and probably the same person.  I try to be helpful and say, "You have the wrong number again", instead of a greeting, in hopes that the person she got the number from wrote something down incorrectly, or she typed in the wrong number twice.  I've done the latter before, and it really is embarassing hearing "Hello" over and over and introducing oneself, hoping the number was typed correctly.

Instead, I get my head royally ripped off, "Fuck you!  You know you're such an asshole!".  I was not expecting that.  I think of a biting reply, "I'm an asshole and you are lacking a brain", but I bite my tongue, now on a mission to not be an asshole.  I shake off her accusation and ask for her name again, now determined to figure out who this girl is.

She says in that biting-your-head-off voice again, "I'm not telling you, who are you?", and I facepalm.  Now neither of us are going to figure out what is going on, and she will feel betrayed.  Everyone loses, good job, girl who I may or may not know.  Faithful to my mission, I tell her my name again, only to hear:

* Click *

I never got a call from this number again. I still don't know who made this call, or even if I know her.