So today I go to the gastro entomologist to have a Sigmoidoscopy done to figure out why I bleed when I poo.
The preperation for this included chugging a bottle of Citroma and giving myself two enemas. I did not have a good weekend.
So I'm at the doctor's office, and he's lubing my escape hatch to put the camera in when he pulls his finger out and says "You have hemoroids. See the blood?"
My immediate feeling was "I don't have to have the butt cam!!"
I was wrong, he did it anyway. Through the whole deal (which lasted about 5 minutes) he and his nurse are discussing their children. My only thought was "can we focus on the camera in my ass?!"
At least it wasn't the ass cancer.
Last week was my 22nd birthday. The cards and kind words from my family are a little slow coming in. That's understandable because of all the illness in my family as of late.
One grandmother with a broken back, two great aunts with cancer, one of them needing a hip replacement to boot, and my mother with a torn ligament in her arm.
Today I got a card from my healthy grandmother with two $10 bills inside. To me, this means gramma was thinking ahead, and only two words come into mind after that.
Beer money.
Everyone else sent me a check meaning I'd have to swing by the bank, deposit the check, and get some cash before I could commence drinking. Grandma was smart enough to just hit the cash so I could go straight to the bar.
I love my grandma.