A recent study, made by a fictional scientist group inside my head, tried to examine the effects of using The Sims as a way to convey the basic principles of life to a group of small children.
The children were locked in a room for 6 years with The Sims being their only form of information and entertainment.
The study showed several common effects of the game on the poor children:
- They like eating a lot of pizza
- They use the bathroom a whole lot more than a usual person
- They sometimes go to sleep on the floor
- They bury their relatives in the place of their death, complete with grave piece and
- They are terrified of house fires
- They talk almost exclusivly about the weather, transportation and ballgames.
- They can't do more than one thing in any given moment (listening to music and cooking for example)
- They sometimes stand in front of common hosuehold objects and clap with joy
- They are very environmental and always prefer carpools over private cars
- They are suckers for swimming pools
- They don't change clothes
- They kiss in slow motion
- They can't think for themselves
- They don't reproduce. have sex. fuck. never. ever.