I think that today is the day that I finally lose hope for humanity. We should just give it up and hand control of the planet over to the next species in line. Maybe the insects or the penguins can do a better job of living in a society than we can. I present these three cases as the basis for my decision.

Case 1: "I Have To Do A Good Job For Crest!"

NBC and Crest Toothpaste teamed up for a promotional giveaway in New York City earlier this week. The contestants from The Apprentice 2 were giving away free toothpaste and they hired a woman who was passing by to help carry boxes. One hopes she was a little unstable, because there's no other excuse for what happened. After a freak-out, mumbling, passing out, and vomiting, she demanded money. Sounds like Must See TV to me.

Case 2: Tuesdays With Maury

Here we have an average guy's weblog in which he mentions sitting in the audience at a taping of The Maury Povitch Show, a daytime talk show. For some reason dozens of people have been posting comments to the log as if the guy who owns the blog is Povitch himself. People are asking for money, favors, dates with celebrities, assistance is finding people, and all kinds of selfish things. Very few of them can string a sentence together; there's tons of punctuation errors (and omissions), no capital letters, ENTRIES WRITTEN IN ALL CAPS, and so on. These people are even posting personal information such as phone numbers and social security numbers! The blog owner has posted that he is not Povitch, yet still they come. There are other places out there where people reply to a blog entry about Bill Gates or Oprah Winfrey and they also ask for money and favors. I even get these kinds of comments on my Crohn's Disease website from people who believe that I manufacture and deliver Ensure. "I deserve free money!"

Case 3: Apartment For Rent. Cheap!

There's not much to say about this one. These are pictures of the apartment left behind by an old man who recently moved out. I have never seen such a gross scene in my life. Trash everywhere, a fridge full of brown goop, a bathroom full of mold (except for the toilet seat itself, *shudder*), and a sink crusted over with filth. How can anyone live in such a place? And what new forms of life evolved in that bathtub?