It's just another tick on your resume of emotions. Just another experience to be utilitarian about, a confidence booster, a reinforcement. But when is too much too much? Isn't there an absolute sympathy? An absolute sadness? Or is it all just another rearrangement of chemicals to improve your reaction time, and thicken the skin?

You use your experiences, because that's what optimism is. A constant saying "no" to caving in. Because who cares if you're having a bad day? Who wants to know who really cares?

This is what selfish is. This is why perseverance, and determination, and positivity are key words to an invisible, invincible dogma that drives everyone insane. It's why humans don't exist anymore, and no one seems to notice.

Note, December 8 2004: this writing is more a reflection of some of my first impressions of a certain college and its left-brained patrons