Today, while mining the depths of aged superdocs, I stumbled upon and read a node I'd forgotten about. The dim world of my tiny, windowless office dissolved around me. Alone at my dark desk, lit only by the phosphor glow of monitors, I wept for a man I barely knew and never met. And I felt no shame.
It's been more than a year since last I've heard any word of his condition and I doubt I'll ever know more than "he was here, and now he is gone." Although I'm not sure he knew, his advice, his actions are largely responsible for the type of noder I've become. His influence is responsible for the change in my style of writing and my approach to other users. Without his kind, and I imagine soft, words I likely would not have become an admin.
And yet, those are relatively small things in the scope of my world. What may seem incredulous to him and others is how much effect he had on my life outside E2. I feel that I've become a calmer, more rational, and better person. As clichéd as it seems I've attempted to live my life by his standard, as I knew it. Sometimes I've succeeded, other times I've failed. Failure though, is a necessary path to success.
Do I miss sensei? Yes, I miss talking with him. I miss listening to him. I miss learning from him. Do I miss HIM though?
No.
I will not miss him until he's forgotten. I realize that seems like a paradox, but every time I think of him, he is with me, in spirit if not in form. I hear his words as I imagine he would speak them, and his memory guides me down the path to wisdom.
Good journey friend, You will be remembered.